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08th Feb 2018

Can you refuse visitors after giving birth? One mum sparks a debate

Cathy Donohue

mum sparks a debate

What are your thoughts, mamas?

The days after giving birth can prove a whirlwind, you’ve brought new life into the world and now there’s a baby dependent on you for everything.

It can be overwhelming when people want to come and see the baby, offer advice, say congratulations and all you want to do is have some time to yourself with your newborn.

One mum has sparked a debate on the Mumsnet forum asking what people would think if she decided to ban visitors for a week.

Of course, her query has sparked a debate with people and everyone has an opinion on what to do in this situation.

The second-time mum wrote:

“I wondered what other people did about inviting people to see baby after they were born. Did you invite people to the hospital?  Did they just turn up? Did you invite people round once you were home?

“This is my second baby, after my first who died I was bombarded. And in laws too great offence to us trying to limit visits.

We had no time alone with our first due to in-laws demands…very overbearing, controlling and emotionally unstable”.

She went on to say that she was quite ill after her first pregnancy and needed rest. She even pretended to be asleep but still, people came and chatted on the bed.

The expectant mum wanted to know what people would think if she said ‘no visitors’ for the first few days and here are some of the replies she received.

“If you want to say no visitors, say no visitors. Perhaps don’t tell anyone when you go into labour would also help”

“Absolutely not. Your first few days with your baby are days you will never get back, be as selfish as you like and do whatever you need to do to feel right. if that means limiting who visits and how often you wouldn’t be unreasonable at all”.

“People should at least wait until you’ve left hospital before considering visiting. If it involves people travelling, they need to wait longer than people who live locally who can just pop round for half an hour or so”.

The popular opinion is that it is okay to say no to visitors after giving birth and that you have to do what’s best for you and the baby.

Would you agree? Let us know in the Facebook comments.