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12th December 2023
11:52am GMT
Jennifer Garner recently opened up about her style of parenting.
The '13 Going On 30' actress shares three children with her ex-husband, Ben Affleck: Violet, 18, Seraphina, 14, and Samuel, 11.
While appearing on Today, the mum-of-three admitted her children experience a 'little bit of benign neglect' with her as their mother.
'Benign parenting' is the opposite of the high-involvement and controlling nature of 'helicopter parenting'.
Jennifer revealed to the show's hosts, Hoda Kotb and Jenna Bush Hager, that this parenting approach means she prioritises her needs just as much as her kids.
"I want to be around. But I also think it’s OK if they suffer from a little bit of benign neglect," she explains.
"I just think they’re such cool people, and I want to hear everything, and I want to be around. But their lives are their own. I’m not trying to live their life, and I don’t mind that they see that I love mine."
Despite its name, this parenting approach does not mean that a mum or dad is neglectful.
On the contrary, it is believed that this technique is about establishing clear limits and boundaries and allowing enough space for freedom within those limits for learning to take place in the hopes of raising independent kids.
The parents who use this style are likely to always be watching and waiting in the wings to help out and listen, as soon as their child seeks their guidance, advice, or help.
Yasmalis Diaz, NYU Langone Health child psychologist, explained to The New York Post that this once-popular parenting trend is making a revival.
"The benign neglect movement seems to be a backswing from helicopter parenting, which encouraged coddling millennials and Gen Zs throughout childhood,” she told the outlet.
"The resurgence of traditional parenting can teach the next generation of children how to develop problem-solving skills.
"That grit, resilience, tenacity and creativity that most Gen X and baby boomers have because that’s how they were raised."
This is backed up by Tracee Perryman, PhD, who tells Parents that the outcome of 'benign parenting' is to let self-determination flourish, as well as allow kids to identify their strengths.
"As a parent, I believe it is important to help children learn how to determine when assistance is truly needed, rather than looking to a parent to solve all of their problems and complete all tasks."
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