Ridiculous.
As any new parents know, leaving your baby with someone else for the first few times is inevitably a bit of a rollercoaster. On one hand, you are so excited for a couple of hours of 'freedom' again, but on the other hand, there will always be that little worry at the back of your head, wondering if they are OK without you.
Asking a family member to mind our babies is often the easiest and what feels most safe for many of us, however, for one Australian mother, it turns out this decision would turn out to be a big mistake.
Speaking to
Kidspot, the mum explains that leaving her three-month-old daughter with her father-in-law for the first time was out of necessity.
"My husband, *Brett and I haven’t left our three-month-old daughter *Isabelle in the care of many other people," she writes. "I’m admittedly a bit of a control freak and I like to have Isabelle with me and if not with me, with Brett."
However recently when the couple had to attend an essential specialist appointment two hours away from home, the logistics of travelling plus what the actual appointment involved was going to be too complex to manage with the baby in tow in tow.
"We don’t have loads of family and friends who live close by and are able to look after Isabelle on weekdays but Brett’s father, *Warren who we trusted wholeheartedly was."
Warren, she explains, was chuffed that they asked him and immediately said yes.
On paper, it seemed perfect
"Because Warren was a constant presence in our lives, he knew our routine like the back of his hand. He knew where everything is kept, Isabelle adores him so I wasn’t worried that she would be upset without Brett or I which was a huge relief.
"On paper, it seemed like the perfect first trip away from our daughter (well, except that it was to visit a doctor).
After a long day of waiting, tests and the actual appointment, we arrived home about two hours later than anticipated and we were exhausted.
As we unbuckled our seatbelts I turned to Brett in the car and said how glad I was that we did leave Isabelle with Warren because of this. Little did I know then how quickly this opinion would change.
When we went inside Warren told us Isabelle was still having her last nap. As she slept, he filled us in about their day and how great she was and that there were no issues. I started to envision date nights and some child-free trips with Brett knowing we could rely on Warren and that Isabelle was content with him too.
Soon enough I heard Isabelle waking and I went into her room to greet her. Picking her up I instantly smelled that she had soiled her nappy and I also felt that urine had soaked through her swaddle.
Although unusual for Isabelle to do this and it only ever occurring at night if it had, I didn’t think much of it and headed over to her change table to change her."
Isabelle had pooed a while ago
The mum explains that when she went to remove her daughter's nappy, it was very obvious that Isabelle had pooed a while ago, as bits of it were hard and stuck on to her skin.
"Her nappy was as full as I had ever seen or felt it but the worst part of it all was when I started to wipe her bottom with wet wipes."
Firstly, she explains, the three-month-old began to cry, which was highly unusual, but soon enough she would understand why. Her daughter's skin was covered in nappy rash, was very red and looked extremely painful.
"Confused as to why this had happened, once I had finished changing Isabelle's nappy, applying cream and consoling her, I headed back out to the living from to ask Warren when he last changed her nappy."
However, her father-in-law's reply shocked her.
“I didn’t change it at all,” he replied.
"When I asked him why not he told me that he didn’t think it was appropriate because he was a man, and she was a baby girl, and he didn’t feel comfortable."
The mother reveals she was just shocked – as was her husband.
"I think mostly though I was furious that my baby daughter was left in pain by something which really could have been avoided if he had thought to mention his concern beforehand. I mean surely, he would have known that her nappy would have needed changing over the course of a day?"
According to the mum, her father-in-law apologised for the confusion and genuinely felt bad his granddaughter had nappy rash – but revealed he didn’t think he was in the wrong about not changing her nappy.
"And he said he won't ever do it."
What would YOU do in this situation, mums?
