We want all them babies!
When I (not totally planned) fell pregnant with my little girl (now six) after having only dated my then boyfriend for just under a year, it very suddenly dawned on me that we are now a family. And while I of course to some extent had mentally planned my wedding since I was circa five (don’t we all?!), it never seemed that important. Not compared to, say, having a baby. Which, to me, is – and will always be – a far bigger commitment.
And the day she arrived, it even more so cemented my feelings of in every way being a family. Nahla had helixed our DNA together, we were already more tied to each other than any piece of paper could do, in my opinion. And when she was two, we decided she needed a sibling, and so we set to work on that, and pretty much exactly nine months later welcomed her little brother. Boom. Girl and boy; how Family were we?!
Marriage, we figured, would happen eventually. Right now we were busy making and raising babies. Let’s not forget that I am Scandinavian, where roughly half of couples who co-habit and have children never marry, but still enjoy all the same legal rights as married couples would.
So I felt very laid-back about the whole wedding thing. To my Irish other half, however, tradition is important (and I still wanted my princess moment, I’ll be honest), so after a very romantic and well planned out Christmas proposal, we are now very happily married thanks to my perfect spring wedding!
And it seems we are not alone in our views.
At least not if a new study by the American Pew Reseach Center is to be believed. According to their research, a whopping 52 percent of Millennials cited being a parent as “one of the most important things in life” – while only 30 percent had the same feeling about having a successful marriage. That’s glaring 22 percent gap among the 18 to 29-year-olds.
According to numbers from the research center, back in 1997 when the same age group, Generation X, was quizzed on these subjects, 42 percent placed a high value on parenthood and 35 percent said marriage was important. Meaning, as time has gone on, young adults are putting more emphasis on raising a family, but not necessarily on tying the knot.
But don’t go thinking romance is dead, because that is not the case at all, reassures the study. Because even if marriage isn’t of the utmost importance in the perspective of their current life stage, most would still ideally like to have it all.
Of non-married Millennials with no children, 70 percent said they would love to find wedded bliss, and nearly three-quarters of them want kids some day.
It is just that the rush to get to the altar is somewhat less pressing today.
What do YOU think? Is it fine to prioritise babies over getting married? Or should you marry first, make babies later? Join in the conversation on Twitter with us at @Herfamilydotie
