"Being a mum is the hardest thing that's ever happened to me"
Molly-Mae Hague has opened up about the struggles of motherhood in an emotional new
YouTube video.
The mega-influencer has been MIA on the platform the last month until last night when she shared the ups and downs of being a new mum.
In a video titled "The Truth" she tells fans how she "doesn't feel herself" since the birth of her baby girl
Bambi in January but she says she wants to get back into her usual routine of uploading.
She said: "I've been trying to talk and nothing is coming out.
"I feel like what I'm saying isn't making sense and that my brain is like, jumbled. It's like my brain isn't my brain anymore.
"I just don't feel myself you know.
"It's not like I need more time to come back because I do feel ready to come back. I want more than anything to come back to YouTube.
In the 11 minute long video, Molly is open and honest about how she is struggling with her feelings recently and seemed super emotional throughout.
She said: "Wholeheartedly, I have found it really really hard. The word I would use to describe the past two months would be overwhelming.
"I've been so overwhelmed every single day. You almost don't believe the 360 that your life has taken.
"It's the biggest life change ever that nobody no matter what they say can prepare you for.
"I just didn't prepare myself for that and I didn't listen. I didn't realise what they were talking about or understand it."
Molly also mentioned how hard it was to navigate being a first time mum on her own while boyfriend
Tommy Fury was away boxing.
She said: "I'm so lucky and grateful and happy now that Tommy is back properly and that we're now doing this as a team.
"Things have been so much better and so much easier. I feel like the day he got home from the fight it was almost better than the day Bambi was born.
"The day she was born it was the best day of my life but on that day I knew that our journey as a family hadn't started yet because Tommy had to go.
"I knew we wouldn't be a family until he was back. It'd be four weeks until he was home so the first few weeks of Bambi's life, I did a lot of it by myself."
"I pushed everyone away"
Molly explained that she pushed her family away and regrets it although doesn't understand why she did it.
"I was spending a lot of my time alone with her.
"I pushed a lot of people away, I don't know why. A lot of my friends and family wanted to be around but I just wanted Tommy or I didn't want anyone kind of thing.
"Looking back now, I think that was completely the wrong thing to do and I wish I didn't do that."
She even showed viewers a photo of her during the first week of being a mum when she got no sleep for five days. She said it was the hardest week of her life.
"The first week or two I suffered from severe constipation. It was actually harder than my labour.
"I was literally going green and I physically couldn't go to the toilet.
"I was messed up down there after the vaginal birth and I had lost the ability to push so yeah I was not in a good way that week."
Fans are flooding the
YouTuber's comments with positive, encouraging messages and they're sharing their similar experiences as a new mum. Many people are thanking her for being so honest with her followers about motherhood and the struggles that come with it.
Molly seemed to be very transparent and emotional in the new video but says she's enjoying being a mum and says she's a very good mum.
"We really are getting into a good routine now we're actually getting our shh together now.
"I can really see how in the next few weeks, things will get even better and easier. She's just a little dream, she's so good.
"She's just nailed the routine."
We're really looking forward to Molly's next upload where we suspect she'll dive even deeper into her experience as a young new mum.
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