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23rd Jan 2018

Mum fuming after mum-in-law says she wants to wear white to her wedding

She was unsure on what to do.

Keeley Ryan

She wanted to know if she should say something

A bride-to-be was “hurt” when she found out that her mum-in-law was planning to wear white to her wedding.

The anonymous woman, who couldn’t help but think it’s a “fingers up” to her, wanted to know if she should confront her fiancé’s mum or keep quiet for the family’s sake.

The couple, who are parents to a one-year-old son, are due to tie the knot in September.

She explained on Mumsnet:

“My MIL and I always got on brilliantly until my DS was born a year ago, since then she has been opinionated on every decision we make as his parents and if we ask her not to do something she will infront of us go against our wishes, with the excuse of it’s what Grandmas do.

“That’s a whole different thread.”

“We get married in September and yesterday MIL announced she was wearing a off white dress for the occasion.

“AIBU [am I being unreasonable?] to be a little hurt by this I believed the etiquette of weddings was only the bride wears white?

“I am trying really hard not to take it personally and as a fingers up to me ( although this is something she would do) she always wants to be the centre of attention and will play the victim if ever we try to discuss the way she is with DS.

“If I am being reasonable in that it’s not the done thing to do, do we say something or keep our mouths shut for the sake of keeping the peace.”

Her fellow forum users urged her to confront her “rude” mum-in-law.

One person said:

“F**k keeping the peace, it’s your wedding day not just a random party! Is she stupid, inconsiderate or both?!?”

Someone else wrote:

“You’re not BU, she’s being very rude by expecting to wear white. Surely it’s common knowledge that you don’t wear white to a wedding?

“I’d be very pissed off if I were you! I think you should say something to her, it’s not on at all.”

Another added:

“Say something. She is being a d***. If it were us my DH (dear husband) would just tell her out right.

“‘It’s inappropriate to wear white to a wedding, and we don’t want you to.

“‘You can of course continue to choose to wear white, but everyone will think you are rude for doing so, including us’.”

But some Mumsnet posters encouraged the woman to let it slide, and to just ignore her fiancé’s mum.

Someone commented:

“Your mother in law is unlikely to be mistaken for the bride. Off white can mean anything from cream to grey. Just let it pass.”

Another person said:

“She is the one who will look stupid. Nobody will mistake her for the bride. Let her dig her own hole if she really wants to.”