Search icon

News

03rd Sep 2017

Mum shares honest and raw open letter about dealing with anxiety

“I had never really opened up about it, but that day was awful"

Keeley Ryan

A mum’s raw Facebook post has been praised for sharing a glimpse into the pain of anxiety.

Mum of two Kristen Hewitt recently shared a selfie in the middle of a more challenging day, as she admitted “today anxiety won”.

Her post began:

“Today has been a rough day. I’ve been feeling well lately, taking care of myself, and been relatively calm. But today anxiety won.

“Today anxiety told me I couldn’t leave my kids to go on vacation with my husband because the plane might crash.

“Today anxiety brought me to my knees in tears that wouldn’t stop for hours.

“Today anxiety had me hiding in my room, afraid for my kids to see me so upset.

“Today anxiety made me believe I wasn’t good enough.”

She went on to describe her bout of anxiety as a “monstrous wave”.

Kristen added:

“Since suffering from a traumatic birth, PTSD, perimenopause, and postpartum anxiety disorder I’ve never talked about this emotion.

“I was afraid others would think I was weak. I was afraid people would know I’m broken. But I’m not, just a little banged up.”

The mum of two explained that she turned to writing to make herself feel better – and remember that she isn’t alone in her struggle.

St. Thomas. Never seen water so blue. #scenic #momlife #motherhood #kids #parenting #girlmom #family #cruise #cruiselife #carribean #ocean #sea #love #instagood #vacation #travel#blogger

A post shared by Kristen Hewitt (@kristenhewitttv) on

She added:

“We change after having kids. Sometimes it’s depression, sometimes anxiety, sometimes both. But we need to confide in others and get help.

“Process what’s happening. Find the root and try to heal.

“What we see on TV, the internet, the news, it’s not real. Every person you know has something.

“We show our best on social media, carefully curating the content we want the world to see. Hoping not to soil our ‘reputations.’

“It’s messy, it’s hard, it sometimes is too much to handle, but even at its worst it’s still beautiful.”

Kristen explained to HuffPost that she has been faced with mental health struggles since she welcomed her first daughter eight years ago.

She said:

“She had a traumatic birth, and I was diagnosed with postpartum anxiety disorder. It’s been an up-and-down battle, and something that’s been hard to cope with.”

Kristen went on to add that she hadn’t really talked about her experience before – and only decided to post the photo “on a whim”.

She continued:

“I had never really opened up about it, but that day was awful. It was a new low and after I dug myself out that post just poured out of me.

“I was tired. Tired of ignoring how I felt. Tired of pretending to have it all together when everything felt like it was falling apart.”

Featured image via Instagram/Kristen Hewitt.