Jesus.
Having sex is a pretty decent thing to be doing until someone has to go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like: “Can we put Match of the Day on?”
It happens, it’s unfortunate, and it’s definitely not a position that any woman likes to be in.
That being said, a simple MOTD request is absolutely not the worst thing that’s ever been said to a woman during sex.
We can probably count on one hand the number of times we’ve gone home with somebody and not had them say something totally strange, inappropriate, or just straight up rude in a bid to ruin the mood for everyone involved.
Whether it’s a seemingly innocent “You’re not like other girls,” or a questionable “Can you keep it down, my mam’s asleep in the other room,” when it happens, there’s no coming back from it.
Sometimes the men don’t mean it. Other times they do.
All times, it’s tragic and we’d prefer if it didn’t happen please.
It is nice to know though that we’re not the only ones who are having these questionable sexual experiences.
Far from it actually.
The other day, all the folk over at parenting forum Mumsnet decided to have a conversation about the worst things that have been said to them during sex.
And Jesus, if the results weren’t bleak.
Here’s a selection of the best (worst, let’s be honest) content from the thread.
- “The baby’s been staring at us for 5 mins.”
- “Can we put Match of the Day on?”
- “Bloody hell, it’s like wallpaper paste.”
- He started snorting like a pig and said he was “hunting for truffles.”
- “Your juices remind me of runny snot,” while going down on me.
- Not a thing said, but leaning over to switch on R4 is something of a passion-killer.
- “So where do you see this going?” from a one night stand that I’d met about an hour before in a club.
- I can’t think of anything during, but someone once said ‘the act of intercourse’ just as we were about to, and therefore it didn’t happen at all.
- Something along the lines of: “I have changed my mind, I don’t think I should be with you.”
That last one is harsh, man.
Harsh.
