New study discovers marriage helps men live longer, but causes women to die younger
Turns out single, childless women are the happiest in the world.
Listen, we're not saying that just because you're in a relationship, it automatically means that one of you is better off because of it, while the other silently seethes at your every breath.
That isn't for us to say. We're not love scientists.
However, Paul Dolan is an actual Love Scientist - or, as he prefers to be called, a professor of behavioural science at the London School of Economics - and his new book Happy Ever After makes for some eye-opening reading for certain couples out there.
While there are always going to be outliers in the equation, some head-over-heels in love exceptions to the rule, by-and-large, his new research has shown that while marriage is pretty great for men, it is actually pretty bad for women.
Dolan told The Guardian that "We do have some good longitudinal data following the same people over time, but I am going to do a massive disservice to that science and just say: if you’re a man, you should probably get married; if you’re a woman, don’t bother.
"[Men calm down], take less risks, earn more money at work, and live a little longer. [Women], on the other hand, has to put up with that, and dies sooner than if she never married. The healthiest and happiest population subgroup are women who never married or had children."
We're not here to judge your life choices, perhaps single and childless was your plan all along, in which case, enjoy your healthy and happy and long life!
However, it is bad news for those already in a marriage, especially considering what Dolan had to say specifically about them:
"Married people are happier than other population subgroups, but only when their spouse is in the room when they’re asked how happy they are. When the spouse is not present: fucking miserable."