Play dates: ‘I thought you waited to be invited – is this normal behaviour?’

Ah, play dates.

Whether your child has many or just a few - play dates can be great for kids to mingle with their peers and it can make up great friendships outside of the classroom. However, most of the time it's with a kid that your child actually likes - so this mum is a bit baffled as another mother text her, asking what dates she can bring her child over. The mum, who posted on Mumsnet, said:

"Basically one of the mum's in my DD's class has texted me to ask if her DD can come to our house to play, and in the same message asking me to send her some available dates. - is this normal behaviour? I thought you waited to be invited... "I don't mind her DD, but my DD has not asked to see her after school (they are 6), and it just wouldn't occur to me to invite her otherwise. "So I now feel slightly manipulated into inviting her DD and where I might have otherwise not minded going along with it, I feel a bit resentful. "What do the rest of you think? Be nice and invite her DD? It's not a big deal (especially if it wasn't for how I feel about her mum). Or if not, what do I write back?"

The posted added that the woman can be quite frosty towards her at times, and has sometimes blatantly ignored her. Many mums replied to the post, and they all said the same thing. One wrote:

"It sounds a bit strange from me, but I know such a mum, too. if I were you, I would ask dd if she'd like to have a play date with the girl, if yes, then agree on a day you think is best and just offer that day. If dd says no to a play date, then I would reply a more general 'Thank you, but it is not really convenient for us (at the time)'."

While another said:

"If your DD isn't that fussed, given the snubbing, then text back that it might work and you'll get back to her. Then don't."