This is what happened when a modern-day mama lived as a 1950s housewife for a week

Sharing the chores that comes with the day-to-day running of the house and taking care of the kids generate a great deal of debate and arguments in the majority of modern families, especially ones where both parents, on top of being mum and dad, have jobs outside the home as well. There is a good reason for this being such an issue, though, as not only do women still do demonstrably more of domestic work than men – and this is despite our social and political gains in the last few decades. But on top of that, according to a new study, men – despite doing less work than their female partners around the house – are under the impression that they are doing just as much housework as us these days. Fair play, lads, you got that one right. Not. As we wrote about a couple of weeks ago, studies done at the well-known Pew Research Center shows that a significant gender gap exists in how mothers and fathers describe their household’s distribution of labor. But, what poses an interesting question, we think, is this: Were they happier before? Back in the day when it was just assumed that men went out and made the money, and us mamas stayed at home and cooked the chicken and raised all the babies? When division of labour was clearer and roles more set in stone? This is what journalist Clare McKenna also wanted to find out to, and recently completed a week as a 1950’s housewife for The Anton Savage Show on Today FM. Basing her life around a 1955 list published in Good Housekeeping on how to be the perfect wife, here is what Clare has to say about her journey of self-discovery: "There are plenty of literature from that era that gives similar advice to women on how to ace being a wife," she explains. "This includes taking on all of the household tasks and keeping this and the children away from your husband who will no doubt be tired and stressed from his day earning a crust." Additional advice included things like: "When he arrives home you should look fresh, as should the children and the house, the dinner should be ready, and there should be no noise from the washing machine or dishwasher. You should ask of his day and never bother him with your own problems." Armed with this info, Claire took on the challenge to live this way for a week. "I wanted to see what effect, if any, it had on my marriage and household." As an example, this is how Sunday went as a 1950s housewife: 7am – We usually rotate who gets up at the weekend, so one gets to stay up in bed (listening to the roars from downstairs) and even though it was my morning, I got up with Flynn and headed downstairs to make breakfast collecting Lois along the way. 9am – Served husband dear some breakfast, the house was tidy and the kids were dressed and watching a movie. He dressed and at 10 left for football. 1pm – Husband arrived back from football and was greeted with a happy smile, a kiss and the offer of a drink. He looked at me like I had lost my mind. He went to shower. I prepared his lunch. 2pm – I took the kids off our to the playground allowing husband to rest – he did not resist this suggestion at all. I brought him his slippers before I left and offered to make him a drink before we left, again he thought I was mad but he still took the slippers. 3.30pm – Arrived back to see husband had returned to the bed and noticed that a couple of things I had asked him to do during the week were not done. I did not say a thing, nor did I call him, I just refereed between the quarrelling children and prepared dinner for that evening and the following. 5pm – Dinner is served, and I ask how he is feeling and if he had a good day. He comments that I am acting strangely. 7pm – Kid’s bedtime – we share this (sorry experiment), there is a bath for each and then I put Lois down, and he reads Flynn’s stories. 7.30pm – I clean up the kitchen. This would rarely happen – whoever makes dinner (namely me) escapes the clean up. 8pm – I head out to meet some friends at the cinema (girl power!) and receive a texts from husband who has just discovered that he’s free of a kitchen clean down and toy sorting. It tells me I’m amazing and that he is madly in love with me! I’m beginning to regret the deceit and worry about how he will feel when he hears it was all to further my career! The rest of the week went much the same, and although glad to be back to normal life, Clare thinks there absolutely was a lesson to be learned from her experiment. "Although I could never continue this one sided life and remain sane, there is a part of this week that I will try to keep with me," she explains.  "The more I just got on with what needed to do without adding to my resentment list and the more I greeted my genuinely gorgeous husband with interest in him and his day, and stayed schtum where I felt he fell short (what do I know anyway!), the nicer the atmosphere in the house and more loving the relationship. And I was actually happier." Talking to the experts Before throwing herself into her research, Clare had spoken to two different relationship counsellors, who both explained that the uneven sharing of the domestic routine is a common issue for couples they see, and that the answer lies with the clarity of roles and the old classic, communication. "Where there are issues, one should be able to complain without giving blame," David Kavanagh of Avalon, who specialise in pre-marriage courses, explained. "In a point scoring war there are no winners." He also explained that while couples can interchange the roles traditionally given to men and women, the success of this will all depend on the personalities involved and the upbringing each partner had. "When I think of my own parents, the roles were very much defined with my mum being the homemaker and my Dad the breadwinner," Clare explains. "They were still a great team and couple, and I can honestly count on one hand the number of times I saw them row. The bickering my husband and I allowed to creep in once the babies arrived and sleep left, was in a different league, and I wonder is that because we are trying to be all things and maybe it’s just not possible." What she learned Clare eventually came clean to her husband about her little research project. "He laughed and said he thought I was acting strangely, but then we talked about the nicer atmosphere, and I vowed to aim to keep it up." When it come to the reasons why our efforts at home and perception of efforts at home are so divided, Clare thinks we are often set on a path after maternity leave, when mum is home for six months and from then on considered the expert on all things household. "And the sometimes we make our own beds, when we moan and gripe about doing everything, but won’t have it done any way but our own way. Sure then we can’t expect our partners to do much more than sit back and let us." What relationship expert Kavanagh said about the effect your upbringing has on your own marriage, struck a chord with Clare. "Maybe I get frustrated trying to be my amazing mother, and I can’t be her when I juggle work too. But maybe my children will see a different mother, half domestic goddess, half working mum, and a different father, still as fun and brilliant as my Dad, but shouldering more of the daily domestic. And they in turn will be different husbands and wives when their time comes. Learning a little from our generation as I did from the 1950’s."