Others were outraged.
A woman has come under fire for admitting she wants to turn down a date because he doesn’t earn enough money.
The anonymous woman explained that the man, who had asked her out, shares many of the same interests as her and was a nice person.
But she was hesitant to accept the date because he was unemployed – and even if he wasn’t, he wouldn’t earn as much as her.
She took to Mumsnet to explain the situation – and got a mixed bag of responses.
Her post began:
“I’ve recently met a man and he’s asked me on a date. It’s definitely not love at first sight by any means, but he’s nice enough and we have some interests in common.
“Under different circumstances, I might consider accepting and seeing how it goes, but he’s unemployed and, even if he weren’t, would be looking at a salary of about a third of my own.
“And this is kind of a deal-breaker for me.”
The woman went on to explain how her relationship with her ex husband had broken down, and that he had also earned less money than her.
She continued:
“I’m divorced, and exH has always made a lot less than me. This led to me losing almost half of what I owned and of my pension in the divorce.
“He also used to be insanely jealous of my professional situation – both in the sense that he envied me for being the main breadwinner and in that he actually seemed to feel personally threatened by my career, which is admittedly important to me.
“Being asked out by this guy has brought this all back.
“I really don’t want another man who feels he has to be extra macho because his partner out-earns him.
“I also don’t want to spend another few years paying for everything and then being given the silent-treatment because I’ve somehow insulted his manhood by doing so.
“Then again, there’s no reason to assume that other men would act like this just because my exH does – and I do feel like a horrible snob for turning someone down due to this.
“So, AIBU to say no to a date because he doesn’t have a job and – even if he did – comes nowhere close to my own earning potential?”
Some other mums were quick to point out that she shouldn’t be judging the man based off her ex.
One person said:
“Not every man is like your ex!
“You’re looking down your nose at this guy before even giving him a chance.”
Another assured her she had “nothing to lose” by going on one date with the man.
A blunt forum user added:
“Yup. And you know it.”
But some mums agreed that she shouldn’t be going on the date if she didn’t feel comfortable.
One person wrote:
“From each failed relationship you learn what you do and don’t want from the next one.
“If this is a deal breaker for you that’s perfectly valid even if it might not be for others.”
Another added:
“You don’t need a reason to say no. You don’t have to justify it to anyone.”
