Search icon

Parenting

05th Aug 2016

Carrie Burton: ‘Mia Is Our World And We Are Hers’

Carrie Burton

Mia arrived in 2004. It’s hard to believe we started this journey that long ago.

Our little baby girl is growing up, yet I find myself struggling to think too far ahead. When you have a child with a disability, it makes the world a much scarier place.

Mia has Aspergers Syndrome. When she came into our lives, we were 19. Teenagers, as Mia now likes to remind us with her funny sense of humour: ‘I can’t believe you had a baby when you were only a teenager!’ She likes to give out to me for that.

In her mind teenagers are people who wear lots of make-up and go out dancing all the time and have no responsibilities.

My answer to her is always truthful: 19 is too young to have babies but God works in mysterious ways and he meant to give you to me. She loves that answer. To me that’s the truth. God changed my life at that age. Mia became my reason to live again. To love again. To ease the heart-wrenching sadness we had felt for the year before, after losing my dad.

She was perfect. Suddenly there was laughter again, smiles in our house. If God had not given me Mia I dread to think were I would be. It’s too painful to go there in my mind. It’s a place I rarely visit. The first time I held her I remember looking at her and saying ‘It’s me and you Mia, against the world’.

I had no idea at the time how true that statement would be.

With Mia’s condition, sometimes you feel that’s the way. This world is a cruel place at times to children with disabilities. There are no services unless you have the money to pay for them. Motherhood has taken me over. It’s my job, but also my life. I love it and I would never change it but it’s the hardest job on the planet and you learn as you go on. Mia has taught me to be a mother.

She turned me into the person I am today. Daniel has a bond with Mia that takes my breath away. His gentle nature and loving personality is something I adore about him. Dan has become her knight in shining armour… and mine. He shares this with Ava and Jack too. There isn’t a day that goes by that my heart doesn’t burst looking at him with our children.

For two 19-year-olds thrown into a world we knew nothing about, I’m proud of us both for the way we have learnt to adjust. We are a team and we have been since day one. There is nobody I can trust like I trust Dan. He’s my best friend since we were 14 and still is. Mia has introduced us to a whole new world we never knew of. Autism is very much her world and now it’s ours too.

When we first heard that word, ‘Autism,’ I genuinely had no idea what it meant. I was not prepared for the feelings I was going to feel; grief, anger, hurt and (the most important) acceptance. As my husband said to me ‘Carrie, Mia is still Mia, She is the same little girl who went into that room before we got dropped a bombshell.’

Mia needed us. So we did what we had to do. Ever since that day we have made it our mission to do everything we can for her. Name it and we have tried it; occupational therapy, play therapy, holistic therapy, visual schedules, iPads, apps, social skills training, switching schools, home schooling (something I loved for six months after she was horrendously bullied).

It has been a long, hard road but an educational one. Mia was given to us to show us how amazing kids like her are. Anxiety is a huge factor in Mia’s life and it’s heartbreaking to watch it engulf her. She is the bravest little girl I know. She is so lovable, warm, funny and intelligent. Daily life is very hard at times but there isn’t a day goes by that I don’t squeeze the life out of my baby girl and tell her how much I love her and how much she teaches me.

Mia teaches us about life daily. she teaches us that we have patience we never thought we had, we have courage, we have fight, we have strength… an unbreakable love. We can run our house united, even when we are stretched to the limit emotionally, physically and mentally. We know that we were born to be parents to her and her gorgeous brother and sister.

To Mia, we are her whole world and she has shown us that world; that’s a gift not everyone gets. Autism has made us the family we are. Ava was our next gorgeous blessing and she to had her own lessons to teach us!

Tomorrow: ‘Ava, My Ray Of Sunshine’

Carrie Burton is 31. Married to her childhood best friend Daniel, the couple have three beautiful children who all have special needs. Carrie likes to write about the reality of their conditions and what it’s like for her family to live with them. They are her world. You can catch up with her at her blog Life As I Know It.

Topics:

guest blogger