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Family dynamics

23rd Jul 2022

Alica Silverstone admits she still co-sleeps with her 11-year-old – and why do people care?

Trine Jensen-Burke

Alicia Silverstone

When I first became a mum, everything was so new and I remember finding it pretty overwhelming.

I was so terrified of making any mistakes, and could only really relax when I had my little girl in my arms or right next to me.

This was also the case for nighttime.

When she was born, my husband was doing a master’s degree abroad, and so for a long time, it was just us two most of the time. And so as I was breastfeeding, I would bring her into bed with me – and we both slept – hah! – like babies.

And so while she had her own cot, and her own bed eventually, most nights, for many years, she would fall asleep next to me in my bed. Some nights, as she got older, we would lift her into her own bed, but most nights, she slept right there, curled up next to me, her little body moulded into mine, her little hand in mine or tangled into my hair.

When my second baby came along, I had done more research on co-sleeping and the amazing benefits of what some referred to as ‘attachment’ parenting. And so he slept most nights right next to me too. Often, with his sister in there too, curled up at the bottom of the bed.

And even still to this day, much as they have their own beds, they still come in for snuggles often. We curl up in the big bed and read – we are currently working our way through Harry Potter. We chat about our days. We giggle and laugh and share – and I know I will forever cherish these moments and am so grateful I let my heart decide what felt right for my family – because for us, this was the right way.

And for others, other bedtime routines and sleep arrangements are right.

Because isnt’t that the thing? Our parenting journeys are all different, and what works for some, might not for others – and honestly, why do we even care how other people raise their children or live their lives?

‘I’m just following nature’

Actress Alicia Silverstone recently spoke about how she still co-sleeps with her 11-year-old son, Bear – and needless to say, people had lots of opinions.

The 45-year-old appeared on The Ellen Fisher Podcast earlier this week to talk about her life as a vegan and what goes into raising healthy kids. When the subject of co-sleeping came up, Silverstone revealed that she’s always slept with her son, Bear, 11, whom she shares with ex-husband Christopher Jarecki.

“Bear and I still sleep together,” she said, noting that she is just “following nature” with her parenting style.

“If you were in any kind of wild setting where there are animals … if you put your baby over there,” she said, pointing away from herself, “your baby is going to get eaten. It’s not ideal for the baby to be over there.”

Later in the discussion, Silverstone praised motherhood as “the most precious, most unbelievable experience in this world,” adding, “For me, it’s so divine.”

The internet being the internet, many were quick to take to social media to slam the Clueless alumn for her controversial statements.

“She won’t let this kid even have a CHANCE of not being clowned on by his peers,” one person tweeted.

Another added: “Poor kid, she’s ruining him and making it hard for him to ever find the right women,” while a third simply called the arrangement “creepy.”

However, others stood up for Silverstone, and said it really is up to each parents how they raise their children.

“Our 12-year-old sleeps with her dad and I…guess what? I don’t care if you or society thinks it’s strange…it works for us and our daughter is thriving! #normalparents,” someone else said on Instagram.

A second agreed, writing: “She’s not co-sleeping, she’s living her life. Quit labeling the s*** outta everything, people.”

Another user, meanwhile, chimed in: “I don’t see the issue?? I slept with my mom until I was 12,” they shared.