Brought to you by Calpol.
Elbow in my ribs.
I wake up.
“Huh?”
“Anna’s crying.”
Check the clock.
04:05.
Another elbow in my ribs.
“Ok, ok. I’m going.”
Go into the twins’ room.
Anna IS crying.
Absentmindedly crying.
She’s actually still asleep.
What’s going on?
Wait.
I know what’s up.
Five letters that spell disaster.
Teeth.
It’s ridiculous, really, when you think about it. Tiny people are thrown from the warmest, safest, coziest place ever out into the big bad world. They can’t see, walk, talk or anything. Sure, we look after them, feed them, change their nappies, develop their minds but even the most confident parent can feel powerless in the face of the fact that these tiny people have to grow teeth out through their tiny, swollen gums so that they can start to eat people food and not just suckle down gallons of milk for the rest of their lives. It’s so not fair. You feel their pain so much but what can you actually do for their gummy heads?
I’ve had four go through it so here are some of the tips I’ve picked up along the way.
1.Don’t give yourself a hard time
You’re not responsible for this and you also can’t take their pain onto yourself and alleviate it. You can just help them as best you can by being as empathetic as possible. It IS painful. The child ISN’T being a pain for the sake of it. You CAN help.
2. A chew toy.
Give them a good (not liquid-filled) chew toy. I like the teething rings because there’s no chance of them breaking or being swallowed. A quick google will throw up a huge selection for you and every major baby retailer has them. For extra comfort, you can actually chill the ring. Lash it in the fridge, as you’re putting baba down and, if it’s needed in the night, you have a lovely cool one. Oh, and I said fridge, not freezer, as one of my mates did and had an even angrier baby after she got hold of it.
3. Almost anything chilled is good.
Age-appropriate food, straight from the fridge can really help soothe the pain. Peeled carrots, yoghurt, fruit pieces, you name it. As long as it’s been chilled, they’ll love sucking on it and it can really help. Oh, and one that really worked on Sam for some reason was jars of apple sauce. He’d stop crying as soon as the jar came out, even before he tasted it.
4. Get your finger in there
While the teeth have yet to stick through the gums and cause you actual pain, a clean (very clean) finger can be one of the most effective distractions from the pain. The child can move it around to the place that’s most painful and will chow down and feel much better. One word of warning though, even toothless gums have got a powerful jaw attached to them so be careful of a
Charlie Bit My Finger moment!
5. And remember...
Always read those medicine labels. Your child’s weight and age determine the appropriate dosage, for example.
All of the above will do the job to some degree but there’s nothing like picking up your crying, teething little one and cuddling and snuggling and being a distraction from the pain. Tickles, belly-rubs and silly noises worked best for my lot.
Nowadays, my youngest two have moved on from the worst of the teething. They do, however, still manage to get me up in the middle of the night for other adventures, like the recent “we found this cream, opened it and rubbed it all over us and it stings and we’re bawling and please make it stop, Daddy” adventure.
I have no tips on how to avoid this.
This article is brought to you by Calpol. Calpol contains paracetamol. ALWAYS READ THE LABEL.
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The top three silly faces and teething dribble superstars will win a professional family photoshoot
, a family pass for a selected Irish attraction and the chance to be the face of Calpol’s 2017 Facebook page. The closing date is June 18 2017. *No purchase necessary. 
