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22nd February 2017
04:51pm GMT

MONDAY Listen, Big People - if I won’t eat certain food with my hands, I’m not going to eat it just because you stick it on a fork am I? IT’S THE SAME FOOD, DICKHEADS! Just because I can’t control my arse yet doesn’t mean I’m a total bellend. And sometimes I throw food ON THE FLOOR because I want to eat it ON THE FLOOR.
TUESDAY Today was brilliant – cried all afternoon and refused to nap. Then did a wee in my cot that a racehorse would be proud of, causing a complete sheet change. Can’t wait for tomorrow. WEDNESDAY The Big People really fuck me off when they sing Wheels on the Bus in the wrong order you know. It’s a kids song, not Pulp Fiction – you can’t just mess with the narrative and expect it to still be entertaining.Read the full post – we dare you not to laugh out loud.