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Parenting

13th Feb 2024

Mum explains how ‘The Magic Candle’ helps her toddler out of a tantrum

Sophie Collins

Candle tantrum

Has anyone tried this candle trick?

A toddler tantrum can happen any time, anywhere and kids show no mercy in public either – so if you’re looking for a way to calm your little ones quickly, this candle trick could be for you.

A mum has taken to the internet with her invention, the ‘magic candle’ that seems to help her toddler out of a tantrum swiftly.

She explained that one of her daughters has been waking up from her nap ready to scream, cry and shout ‘NO’ if food is offered to her.

“Recently, one of my toddlers has been waking up from her nap PISSED TF OFF,” she said.

“Full-on screaming, crying, inconsolable, etc. I think she might be waking up hungry/thirsty, but she gets so worked up that any offering of food or drink is met with “NOOOOOOOO” at an unholy decibel.”

In a desperate attempt to calm her little one down, she came up with an exercise she likes to call the ‘magic candle’.

Tantrum

She explained: “Enter the “magic candle.” It’s a Harry Potter double-wick candle my niece got me for Christmas last year that appears white, but when the wax melts, it melts red. But, I imagine any old candle would do.

“All I do is light the dang thing and ask kiddo if she can blow it out– while I maintain control of the candle so she doesn’t burn her little fingers.”

She went on to say that: “This does two things: (1) Distracts her from her tantrum and (2) Helps her regulate her breathing by taking “biiiig, deeeeep breaths!” (these are the words I use to coach her).

“We’ll do this for a few minutes, her blowing out the candles (with me helping behind the scenes so she doesn’t get frustrated), me re-lighting them, until she’s sufficiently calmed down.”

Then, the mum says: “I’ll let her know we have three “Magic Candle lights” left, and count her down until we’re “all done.” She gets lots of high-fives and praise, and then she gets a snack and a drink.”

As for its effectiveness, the mum-of-two says: “So far, I’ve used the “Magic Candle” 6 or 7 times (both for post-nap freak-outs and run-of-the-mill tantrums) with 100% success. I’m fully aware that one day it’ll probably stop being an effective technique, but I’m hoping we’ll get some more mileage out of it before that day comes. 

“Obviously, be sure to follow all of the common sense fire safety things– like keeping the candle jar out of the toddler’s hands– but I hope it works for you too.”

Mums took to the comments to praise the idea, with one writing: “I think it is a very ingenious combination of redirection with breathing exercises. I am glad it is working!”

A second said: “I’m so glad to hear this works. I haven’t tried it in the heat of the moment but my son loves blowing out candles and I try to get him to pretend to blow out a candle when he’s flipping out. 

“I’m going to try this, too with a real candle!”

If you give this a go, let us know how you get on over on our Instagram.

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