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14th Jun 2022

This mum is at her wits end on what to do about her bad tempered step-son

Melissa Carton


What would you do if you were this mum?

This mother of four took to Made for Mums to get advice on what to do about her bad-tempered step-son.

She has said that he’s completely out of control and that she fears for her own children when he’s around.

She began by explaining her situation to her fellow parents on the forum;

“I am a mother of 4 , my kids are aged 13,11,6 & 11 months and my partner has a child who comes to stay every weekend who is 6 . For the past few months I have had to deal with his child calling me loads of nasty names his child shares a room with my child of same age when he is here but recently I had to take my eldest child’s room away and make him share with the younger one so that my partners child has his own room.

When he has his really bad temper tantrums he starts to smash up the room and has tried to rip wallpaper off the walls and my radiator last week his temper tantrum lasted for nearly 10 hours straight. ”

“The child’s mother spoils him rotten and always rewards his bad behaviour with toys and sweets and now she has started trying to put her foot down his behaviour has become really bad I am at a loss as what to do when he is here and anything his dad says to him has no effect and then his child just says ” I don’t care “ and then it’s a load of name calling from the child.

I worry about my youngest child around him because he isn’t very nice I caught him dragging her around the room by her vest he Has hit her in the face with a teddy bear and a blanket because he had taken them out her hand and I asked him to give them back and he through them at her nastily I am looking for some advice on what to say to my partner or just any advice in general would do my kids get brought up to respect people and follow the rules and if they don’t there is consequences and I am worried that his child’s behaviour is going to have an effect on how my kids behave please help.”

Not surprisingly a lot of mums felt for her and her impossible situation with one writing.

“I’m so sorry that you’ve found yourself in this situation. I don’t know what to tell you other than you need to dicuss this with your partner as it’s his responsiblity to keep his son under control.”

I completely agree with this poster. While the child’s mum might be spoiling him, it sounds like his dad isn’t doing much to curb this behaviour. Children who act out like this are often seeking boundaries and want their parents to guide them. Particularly with his parents break up this child may be confused and using boldness to get attention.

It’s never easy to know what to do in a situation like this when it isn’t your own child, but for the sake of my children I would put my foot down.

Destroying someone else’s property and harming the other children in the household is unacceptable. This calls for stricter punishment rather than giving into his behaviour by allowing him to have his own room.

It may be harder as he will most definitely act out more at first, but in the long run, it will benefit everyone.

What do you think? What would you do in this situation?