"My parents are useless grandparents" – are today's grandparents too cool to babysit?
Being a 60- or 70-something today probably looks pretty different to what it did a generation ago.
Today grandparents head off travelling, take care of their appearance, go to the gym, do yoga, eat exotic foods – but – what if living their best lives like this leaves little time for them being grandparents...?
In a recent Reddit thread, the Boomer generation is being roasted for being ‘useless’ grandparents who don’t help or interact with their grandchildren.
It all started when one mum took to reddit to vent about her ‘typical Boomer parents, who she says are ‘useless’.
“Growing up, I have so many memories with my grandmother (grandfather died young)," the mum wrote.
"She taught me to sew, bake, garden, and endless hours in her yard playing. So many sleepovers. And my mum didn’t work. She took me shopping and to visit her cottage."
This is not the case when it comes to her own parents and her children, however.
“Now that I have my children, my parents don’t even visit. They have visited probably five times in three years and they live 20 minutes away. And it’s just sitting on the couch being bored. No help at all. They do not work and are retired. They claim this time is for them only and they already put their work in. I honestly despise the boomer generation.”
‘Nobody owes you child care’
The frustrated mum was met with a chorus of like-minded parents who say their own parents put in very little effort as grandparents.
“It used to severely depress me,” said one mum. “But now I’ve just accepted it. I will be an involved grandma to my grandkids if my kids choose to have them, but I can’t force my parents to be involved with my kids, they just don’t care.”
Another mum agreed, saying Boomer parents would rather ‘do nothing’ than help with their grandchildren.
“I know not all grandparents are like this, but my parents had so many sacrifices growing up with their own siblings, and then they had to raise their own kids (barely because millennials kind of raised themselves). This is a complaint I always have. Out of five grandparents, only two are interested in seeing the kids all the time. One of them married to the interested grandparent is biological, whereas she’s the stepparent, and they just started taking our kids every two weeks. It’s nice, but the problem is it’s only for 12 hours. Then we have to collect them by a certain time. We could just keep them home because they are asleep that whole time anyway.”
However, playing the devil’s advocate, another Reddit user said that today's grandparents don’t owe their children anything.
“NOBODY owes you child care,” the fellow forum user wrote.
“As a parent of a one- and a four-year-old, I love getting help. But I don’t expect it. Nobody owes that to me. My parents and my partner's parents have already raised their kids, I don’t expect them to raise mine, they are my kids. My parents and my partner’s parents deserve to enjoy whatever they want to do in their time/retirement days. They don’t owe me anything. Sure, help is great, always appreciated, but in the end, sorting out care for my kids is my responsibility, as the parent.”
Thoughts? How involved are your parents in their grandchildren?