On my first public outing with the twins, feeling like mother nature's bosom and proud as punch, I was stopped by a proper inner city Dub. "He-ar, are day twins?" Yes, I beamed, delighted with life. "Real common aren't day." Well, that burst my bubble! Yes, twins are very em, prevalent these days, but that doesn’t make it any easier....
1. The first year was a blur, in fact, I’m pretty sure I’ve blanked it out. At their first birthday, I crumbled – a total meltdown. I think because I’d got through that first twelve months without breaking them, I could allow myself that weakness. After that, it got much easier.
2. I was never mad about babies, but from one year on, kids are really funny. They are also really wise if you listen carefully.
3. Don’t be a pushover; it won't do you any favours in the long run. Remember your favorite teacher in school, they were tough but fair and pushed you further than you thought possible. That’s not a bad place to start when developing your ethos for parenting. Sit in the driver's seat and take control.
4. Whatever your foibles are, you will more than likely pass them on to your children. So, if you’re arachnophobic, or can’t wear wool without going into itch overdrive, chances are, these issues will be your legacy to your children. So, your personal awareness is your best defense. Bite your lip and put the glass over the spider.
5. Where this really matters, particularly for girls is around our relationship with our bodies. If we look into the mirror with anguish and loathing, bemoaning our hips/thighs/tummy/chin, our daughters will think this is normal, perpetuating this behaviour and growing to have a negative relationship with their bodies.
6. It’s very easy to bring the outside world home with you at the end of the working day and remain consumed by it. Nobody wins. I do a little exercise where I bin the stresses of the day outside the front door before entering the house.
7. I love being a working Mum, but I don’t think it’s for everyone. What’s important is that, as women, we have the right to choose. That said, I think fostering independence is the greatest gift you can give your children. When they’re clinging onto you making you feel like the most loved person in the world it's such a lovely feeling, but knowing when to let go is vital.
8. I have one boy and one girl twin, promoting equality in everything we do is difficult, unconscious bias trips us up at every turn. Evie asked me could she get her ears pierced for her eleventh birthday. I agreed. At that point, Finn asked if he could also get his done. I said no. But Mum, he said, that’s sexist. He’s right, what do you say to that?
9. Teach your girls to be brave; nature has made women physically braver than men, we have childbirth and periods, so let’s nurture that to make our girls fearless. Fear holds us back and stops us from pushing ourselves. Teach your boys to be kind, responsible and share the domestic load, in no world should a man be less responsible for emptying the dishwasher than a woman.
10. I love being a Mum; it’s made me a better person, coursing with love. I am incredibly proud that my kids are confident, kind and well-mannered. The fact that they are bright and funny is a massive bonus.
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