I don’t mean to brag, but I am extremely accomplished at plaiting my daughter’s hair while she runs away.
It’s not that I’m not gentle – it’s just that we are always seriously late, I don’t want to get nits, and why isn’t her scalp numbed to pain yet like mine was at her age?
We used to have the head pulled off us when we were younger – and it got me thinking about all the other horrific, torturous things my parents did to me and my siblings as a child.
My mum loved dressing us up like the Railway Children. Off we went to bouncy castle parties where the other children were in tracksuits while my sister and I stood on the sidelines with ringlets, bonnets and full on dresses with petticoats. They made my brothers be altar boys until they were 15 which is just cruel, and I have still not recovered from being made wear only bikini bottoms ‘like the French kids’ on holidays in France despite being 13 (the French kids were 6)
It is comforting to know I am not alone: The HerFamily team admit they were also victims of parents who insisted on cleaning faces with warm spit, forcing us to Irish Dance on command for visitors, who doused us in holy water and who made us try on clothes in the middle of the shop whatever our age.
But now it is time for us, as parents, to continue the tradition of annoying our children. I caught myself spit wiping my son’s face the other day, and I have full intentions of using most of my daughter’s talents to show off my strong parenting skills.
But I might not go as far as these parents who surely deserve the most torturous parent’s awards:
1.The time Dad photo bombed your Debs picture
2. The time your Mum ‘learnt’ you your lesson.
3. Or what about the Dad that recreates his son’s every Instagram post
4. And finally, they lied – they did have a favourite child!
How did your parents embarrass you as a child? Leave a comment or mail me Amanda.Cassidy@HerFamily.ie!
