Sonia Harris Pope is the MD of Harris PR and mum to Ruby. She is working with UNICEF Ireland to encourage support for breastfeeding women. Here, to celebrate National Breastfeeding Week, she gives an honest and uplifting account of her own experiences, and a plea to the nation to give more new mums more support…
I’ve been breastfeeding for 21-and-a-half months. I’m breastfeeding while I’m writing this. My little girl, who is getting to be a big girl, loves “booby”. She always has. I know I’m one of the lucky ones.
When I was pregnant, I wanted to breastfeed. I’d planned to try but I’d heard so many conflicting stories about the difficulties facing breastfeeding mums – the latching, the lack of support, the confusion and concern, the constant worrying about whether the baby was gaining weight – that I had prepared for all eventualities. I hit up Mothercare and bought every conceivable feeding device. Just in case.
Twenty-one months later, every single one of those items is still in its original packaging, laughing at me from shelves all over the house.
Ruby was two weeks early. I was working up to an hour before my waters broke. And there she was. This gorgeous, red little creature had my heart.
Ruby’s first feed
Once she was checked over, the midwife suggested we give breastfeeding a try. She said not to worry if it didn’t work out, Ruby was a bit early, and it’s unlikely my milk had come in. I nodded, a little tearfully and rested my baby awkwardly on my rib cage with Conor’s hand for support – I really had no clue what I was doing. But someone did. Ruby’s tiny mouth opened as wide as it could and she grasped my nipple and that was it. This baby was a natural.
I did the Domino Scheme throughout my pregnancy. It’s a midwife-led system that sees regular appointments with midwives, no doctors or consultants. The midwives visit you at home in the days after you give birth and show you how to bathe and weigh your baby, and demonstrate loads of different holds for breastfeeding.
I also learned an invaluable lesson that breastmilk cures pretty much anything for a baby. Skin creases looking a bit red? A few drops of milk will sort it. Nose a bit blocked? Bit of breast milk up there and you’re sorted. It felt like miracle juice.
There was milk everywhere in those early days. Everywhere. I’d feed on one boob and the other would be dripping. Muslin cloths, reusable breast pads and cups of mint tea were my closest allies.
Between the midwives and the Public Health Nurse, I had an incredible support network and could ask all the questions I had – no judgement, just positivity. They were incredible, and so was Conor, who was part of every feed. Paternity leave was the greatest gift. We could both do the late nights and blurry days together. Between his help and that of our families, I felt truly supported.
At Electric Picnic with Ruby and Conor
Sadly, recent research for UNICEF Ireland showed that the reason for Ireland having one of the lowest breastfeeding rates in the world is due to the lack of support women feel they get in those early days.
I’ve been working with UNICEF Ireland to spark a conversation and get everybody – women and men, young and old, families or no – thinking about why Ireland is at the bottom of the list and what each of us is doing that could change that.
UNICEF Ireland says you can’t breastfeed without the support of your partner, family, community and employer. It calls on governments everywhere to consider maternity and paternity leave programmes, and for employers to establish more family-friendly policies. Currently many of the workplace mandated breastfeeding supports here in Ireland really aren’t structured in a way that benefit women, but employers could choose to offer infrastructure, flexibility and breaks. All of that is underlined by the proven health benefits of breastfeeding for mum and baby.
As I have my own business, I ended up returning to work far too early. After only three weeks, I attended a pitch, still bleeding and with boobs as heavy as my heart. But Conor and Ruby met me straight after and we walked to the Merrion and settled in for a long feed.
An on-the-move feed during a tour of The Vatican
I created an environment that I hope other businesses will adapt, too. I didn’t express, instead I split my time between the office and home. I spent as much time as I could with my new daughter and fed her on demand.
I loved those early days so much. We were in the bubble. But the thing is, 21 months later, I’m still in that bubble. As we have our last feed in the morning and our first feed when I get in from work, I’m enveloped in pure warmth and love.
People of all ages and genders have been respectful, friendly and helpful. Only a few weeks ago the loveliest Aer Lingus flight attendant gave me a complimentary bottle of water as he said it was thirsty work. And he’s right!
The only truly negative experience we had was on a family trip in Amsterdam. Ruby was sleepy and hungry while we pottered around the Van Gogh museum, so I popped her in the Ergo and she latched on and went to sleep. As we strolled by The Starry Night, I noticed a woman nudging her husband, whispering to him and pointing at me. She came over to me and in a broad, loud American accent said “It’s a bit much isn’t it?”
People turned and looked. Shocked, concerned, confused. What could I do but smile at this poor woman, whose lack of understanding would allow her to attempt to publicly shame another woman for feeding her baby? I smiled sweetly and said: “You have a lovely day now.” She was fuming.
Feeding in the Van Gough museum
Then it hit me: women face this daily. Maybe I hadn’t noticed, or just hadn’t cared, but I know that in those very early days, when my hormones were all over the shop, that single comment would have floored me. Again, it comes back to how we need to support mums, with knowledge, understanding, empathy – and bottles of water.
I know breastfeeding isn’t for everyone and that’s fine. As I said, I didn’t know if it would be for me or Ruby, but it was. I’m not anti-formula, though happy to have saved an estimated €1,500 so far! We’re all just trying our best and as the midwives say “a happy baby is a fed baby” so that’s all that matters.
But there are things we can all do every day to make new mums feel more comfortable about breastfeeding. Stop staring, be kind, don’t judge – and certainly don’t publicly shame, like my American friend.
