What is it about pregnant women that gets everyone else so ‘involved’? Surely it’s a kind of private time, a very personal time for couples and in particular, for women, no?
You’d think so, my friends, you would. But no, pregnant women have somehow become the Number One target for people who have no concept of the term ‘boundaries’ and who can’t differentiate between casual normal chat and outrageous inappropriate behaviour.
I appreciate that bumps get so big and obvious that it can be kind of hard to discuss anything else other than the big (baby) elephant in the room. But really, can we all just agree to having a little think before opening our mouths around our preggo pals?
Here are 8 of the most stupid things ever said to me while I was pregnant:
1. ‘Coming off the pill and getting pregnant straight away is really bad for the baby.’
This person knew that this is precisely how we got pregnant. Pill in bin, rampant riding, impregnated. Job done. I’d say I was off the pill all of five seconds. Thanks, asshole.
2. ‘Oh you’re pregnant! Congratulations! I nearly died during childbirth, and so did my sister. But erm, that won’t happen to you.’
3. ‘Are you dying with heartburn yet? No? You probably will be, mark my words. Keeps you awake all night long and sometimes you feel like someone shoved lighter fluid down your throat and set a match to it.’
Oh awesome, thanks for the heads up that I’m in the market for unbearable pain some time into the future. You ROCK.
4. ‘Wait until your organs start all pushing up against your ribcage. It hurts so, so, SOOOOO much.’
5. ‘Pregnant, is it? Another little shit to add to the world then.’
6. ‘Don’t get your hopes up.’
This was when I was going for a scan to find out if we were having a boy or a girl. I WILL get my fooking hopes up if you don’t mind.
7. ‘I know for a FACT that the use of second-hand mattresses for your baby cot or Moses basket leads directly to cot death.’
Where are you getting all of this ‘factual’ information from? And is this really from the woman who smoked twenty cigarettes a day while she was pregnant?
8. ‘Did you plan it?’
I got pregnant at thirty-four years of age. I think I was aware of the difference between my arse and my, well, my vagina at that point, but thanks for your question.
What inappropriate things did people say to you when you were pregnant? Let us know in the comments!