I think most women would agree that when it comes to safely delivering a baby, there is no easy way.
The mothers I know have had every style of delivery possible (except maybe the one where you deliver in a taxi – don’t know anyone who’s had that particular honour), and they all have wildly differing reports. Though on an anecdotal level at least, the mums of my acquaintance who had low intervention deliveries, on the whole, seem generally more positive about their experiences.
When the ultimate aim is to delivery the child safely, it can feel like all other concerns are completely without importance, but care for the mother is hugely important. For me, the birth strongly informed the subsequent first months of parenthood and not in a good way. I would not claim to understand severe birth trauma but I feel my negative birth experience definitely impacted on my bonding with my son and mental well-being, this, in turn, it could be argued affected the environment my son was born into and perhaps made him feel insecure or less safe.
I’m not calling for unqualified people like myself to contribute to the decisions of medical professionals, and I am aware of how stretched and understaffed our maternity units are but I do feel shouting down the voices of birthing mothers can have long term effects on that woman’s psyche. I felt disrespected by hospital staff on the night before my son was born. Simple things that to me would’ve made me feel more confident in what was about to happen could’ve made a huge difference. My son was to be delivered by c-section due to breach position, suspected low birth weight, and low amniotic fluids. I was placed on the labour ward to await surgery through the night with a trace in place to monitor the baby. The hospital staff refused to allow my husband to stay with me, despite every other woman in that room having a partner by her side. I just don’t understand what difference this would have made to have him in the cubicle with me. The surgery was pushed back several times and then suddenly it was happening. “Where is your husband?” they asked. “He’s at home,” I was bewildered. “You sent him home!” I wanted to shout. They started to hustle me out of the ward to a lift nearby. “Call him and tell him to meet you up there,” I was instructed. At this point, I got primal on their asses. I could not go “up there” without him, I could not be cut open alone in a room of masked strangers. I don’t care if this sounds self-indulgent or first world problemy, it is not too much to ask for a woman about to deliver a baby to have a supportive partner present.
I’m not scaremongering here, I know mothers whose c-sections were routine and did not feel out of control I’m just saying that claiming the c-section is easy is bullsh*t to the ears of many.
5 SOLID Reasons Why A C-Section is Not the Easy Way Out (So Can Everyone Please Stop Saying It?)
1. It is not a day at the spa it is MAJOR abdominal surgery
The procedure itself is of course wildly different for everyone, but to me, it was a horrible ordeal. The drugs were so powerful I felt completely disconnected from reality, and the whole thing felt scarily out of my control. There are potential risks with every surgical procedure; many women experience severe bleeding or worse.
2. It is major abdominal surgery after which one is given approximately two hours recovery time
After any other major surgery, one could reasonably expect up to eight weeks recovery time. After a c-section, mothers have an infant to care for and any other kids they may have kickin’ around too so rest and self-care are pretty far down the list of priorities.
3. Skin to skin may not be possible
Some mothers have since told me that they fought the doctors on this and were permitted time for skin to skin immediately after the surgery, maybe I was just too young to stand my ground and speak up. I really wish I had.
4. The drugs can be a bit of a mindf*ck
“I thought morphine was supposed to be the best…” I whined groggily after the first dose hit my blood stream. I got sick immediately after this into a little foam hat. Don’t get me wrong anytime the drip stopped working, and the pain in my abdomen made itself known I was seriously glad of the narcotic blanket (particularly as the girl in the bed beside me was just on paracetamol and difene) but still the drugs made me pretty loopy, coupled with my natural loopiness made for a pretty surreal first week of parenthood. Also, the come down is a bitch.
5. Everything is out of your hands
Everything is in the hands of a professional, which of course is the main thing but this doesn’t make the experience any less frustrating or you less vulnerable.
There’s no perfect birth, a woman about to deliver a child is most likely feeling vulnerable, and the least we can do is not minimise her experience by writing it off as easy.
Have you ever heard the c-section described as ‘easy’? How do YOU feel about this? Let us know in the Facebook comments.
