After several years of trying to conceive, Kiera Lambe and her husband were delighted to find out that she was pregnant.
However, at 12 weeks, Kiera started bleeding which was the beginning of a nightmare experience for her and her family.
Having experienced bleeding during the pregnancy of her older child, Kiera says she wasn’t overly concerned but she and her husband went to the maternity hospital to make sure everything was ok.
“We were sent to the early pregnancy scan clinic and watched as women went into the room. Some came out happy and others came out upset and yet, I was still unconcerned. It got to my turn, up on the table and the ultrasound was put onto my tummy.”
“She had started out talking jovially with us and making good eye contact but in a very short space of time, she kept looking at the screen and stopped talking. I asked if something was wrong and she smiled slightly and said that she had to get a colleague and left the room for a moment.
When the sonographer and her colleague arrived Kiera was scanned again.
“I asked them to be honest with me and not mince their words. Our baby had a large nuchal translucency.”
Kiera’s baby was measuring small and was missing a left leg. The baby had only a partial right leg and no feet. There was also very little fluid surrounding her baby.
“We were devastated. She scanned me for over half an hour to be sure and showed us on the screen all her findings. We were then scheduled to return to the hospital the following day. We had a very worrying sleepless night”.
When Kiera and her husband arrived at the hospital the next day, they met with the director of fetal medicine, another doctor and the midwifery manager. The medical team explained the possible chromosomal defects their baby could have.
“They mentioned the physical defects with the feet, the underdeveloped fetus and more importantly lack of fluid around the baby, were all painting a very bleak picture. They tried to remain somewhat positive and suggested an amnio.”
Kiera was told that they couldn’t do an amniocentesis test until the baby measured 15 or 16 weeks. As their baby was measuring small, this would mean waiting for approximately seven weeks. Kiera was given leaflets about miscarriage and amniocentesis and sent home to wait.
After an anxious week trying to keep things as normal as possible for her four-year-old daughter, Kiera began to haemorrhage again. She and her husband returned to the hospital where the staff talked to her about miscarriage.
“They kept me in overnight for observation. There was a heartbeat of which I was reassured and the next day, they were happy to send me home.”
A week later the same thing happened. When the bleeding subsided Kiera had another scan and was told that there was very little fluid was around the baby.
“The doctor explained that the fluid served different purposes but one of those was to protect the baby from pressure of being crushed under the mother’s body.”
“By the 3rd admission to hospital for the same thing a week after that, I was drained of it all emotionally and physically. I did not want to see a heartbeat because I knew the baby was suffering, I was too. It was an unbearable time worrying about bleeding out. I cried all the time, I couldn’t sleep and yet I had to try and be as normal as possible for my daughter.”
The hospital staff told Kiera that there was nothing more they could do for her as there was still a heartbeat present. Kiera says she was aware that the 8th Amendment had tied her doctor’s hands.
Each time Kiera was admitted to hospital she was told that the fluid around the baby was decreasing. Kiera knew that this could mean that her baby could be crushed by her body. The thought of this and the anguish of waiting were taking a toll on Kiera’s emotional health.
After reaching out to the support group Termination for Medical Reasons, Kiera began to look into potential termination options.
“I realised I couldn’t travel though. Not only was I not fit, I wasn’t financially able to do it and I couldn’t leave my daughter who was becoming quite distressed by me not being around much.”
A week later Kiera was admitted to hospital again. Her doctors again told her that she might be miscarrying.
“At this stage, I was hysterical and begged them to do something to end mine and my baby’s suffering.”
However, there was still a heartbeat so Kiera was again told that nothing that could be done. Kiera says the doctors were empathic and frustrated at not being able to intervene.
“They knew how deformed our baby was and all the issues that our baby had…I felt like I was losing my mind. I am normally a strong, resilient person and this had broken me. My husband felt helpless as did my family.”
When Kiera and her husband attended the amniocentesis scan, Kiera said she knew immediately that something was wrong.
“He said nothing for what felt like an eternity and I just asked him if the baby had died and he confirmed this. I asked him to show me and how he knew.”
“He said it wasn’t recent and possibly the baby died a week or so previously. The skull was in pieces and there was no fluid around the baby. I could see this on the ultrasound monitor, it was horrible.”
Kiera was given mifepristone and told to go home and come back two days later. The following day she began to have labour pains. She went to the hospital where labour lasted all day before delivering her baby.
“I asked the nurse if it looked like a baby and she said no.”
Kiera decided she didn’t want to see her baby as she wanted her memories to be untarnished.
Kiera says that during the labour she was given pethidine in the drip and was not asked if she wanted it, nor told that it had been given to her until it was too late to refuse consent.
“They did stuff without me knowing what they were doing or why. It took me screaming at them to cut and clamp the cord in absolute hysterics for them to listen. I felt like I was unimportant.”
It was two months before Kiera was given the full results of the post-mortem. Kiera’s baby was a girl who had a very rare neural tubal defect called sirenomelia or Mermaid Syndrome. The baby, whom Keira and her husband named Dharma, had no kidneys, no bladder or genitals or any openings in her lower half. Her lower limbs were fused giving the look of a mermaid tail.
With sirenomelia, the upper half of the body forms but the lower half doesn’t. Dharma would never have survived the pregnancy as without kidneys or a bladder, she was unable to produce the necessary fluid to build up the amniotic fluid.
Kiera believes that her suffering was exacerbated by the 8th Amendment.
“Our suffering could have been eased had the 8th Amendment not been in place and they could have options for me that could have ended her suffering as well as mine. I simply do not understand how letting her suffer the way she did and me too and all my family is humane or even ethical.”
Kiera says she wanted to share her story in the hope that some of Ireland’s politicians will read it and hear how the 8th Amendment harmed her and her family during their very-wanted pregnancy.
“Our legislators need to ensure that women like me are protected from repeating this trauma and utterly unnecessary extension of pain and barbarism – not just for me but for Dharma too.”
“The extent of the cruelty I suffered felt never ending. I felt like it was death by a thousand cuts. I still don’t know how I got through it. I still go to counselling but it still traumatises me. I will NEVER get over it.”
