When I announced I was pregnant the first time everyone I knew was excited.
They wanted to know everything. When was I due? Was I going to find out the gender? Did I have names picked out? Was I going to have a baby shower? Did I need anything before the baby arrived?
When it came to baby number two, on the other hand, people weren’t quite as interested.
Don’t get me wrong my family and friends were delighted with my news, they just weren’t as eager to know about everything as the first time around. I know I’m not the only person this has happened to, in fact, it even became the topic of an episode of Scrubs.
In the episode, Turk is upset because no one is congratulating him with quite the same gusto as they were on his first baby. He gets told ‘well what did you expect it’s your second child?’
To be honest, even I was a bit of a culprit. I did several pregnancy photoshoots when I was pregnant the first time and had one of the photographers say ‘you’ll probably forget to do this for the next kid’. At the time I thought, no way, I’m going to do this every time I get pregnant. Ha!
I was totally exhausted on my second child and a large part of that had to do with already being a mother. I had a four-year-old to run around after as well as swollen feet and a large bump to carry around. I was far from in the mood for photoshoots, baby showers or any type of questions.
I think the excitement waivers a bit with any good news we get in life when it comes a second time around. Even award-winning actors start to look a bit browned off running up and down from the ceremony stage. ‘Oh another Oscar, thanks you shouldn’t have.’
It’s not that everyone isn’t happy, it’s just that they’ve sort of seen it all before from you. The first baby is regarded as the new baby while baby number two is a new sibling.
Another writer wrote that they felt like a celebrity on their first baby but not on their second and I totally understand what they mean. People can’t get enough of you when you first fall pregnant. They count down the days till baby arrives. You get a million text messages asking if the baby has come yet and are constantly reminded that your pregnancy is going on forever. The second time seems to fly in because you’re just getting on with things and then suddenly there’s another person here.
If you’re on your second pregnancy and have noticed this lack of interest in how things are going, don’t be upset. Trust me, once the baby arrives they’ll all be back as excited as ever to bring around a pile of gifts and offer to lend a hand.
