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23rd Jan 2019

Mum pregnant with twins divides opinion after sharing her one wish for after babies’ birth

A mum-of-two who is expecting twins has divided the internet after she shared her simple wish for after the babies’ birth.

The woman explained on Mumsnet that she and her partner are set to welcome twin girls in February, after losing a baby girl last January.

She said that for the first four weeks, she wants it to be just her, her husband, her two sons and her twin daughters – and no other visitors.

However, she asked people for advice about whether it was fair or not to excluded the members of their extended family and their friends.

The mum wrote:

“I’m having twin girls, I lost a baby girl in january last year. The twins are coming in February and I dont want no visitors until 1 month from when they come.

“I just want it to be my husband and my 2 boys, plus my new babies for 1 month.

“My 2 boys, I had visitors from day 1 – all day, all time. And I just want it different this time.

“Is that ok do you think?”

Some of her fellow parents argued that it was completely her choice as to who she did or didn’t want to be there in the first few weeks, while others disagreed.

One person wrote:

“I think if that’s what feels right to you given your precious loss then it’s fine.

“You may find that when the babies are here you feel different but for now you need to make sure you do what is right for your mental health, especially after suffering a loss, with twin newborns.”

Another person commented:

“Ultimately you set the rules but with twins you might appreciate some help (if they are willing to do that) and some meals brought for you. Or even just play with the older kids and briefly visit the LO.”

Someone else advised:

“I honestly think you should see how you should see how you’re feeling day by day. Of course you should allow yourself time and space to bond with your family.”

Others felt that the rule was “over the top” and urged the woman to reconsider.

One parent said:

“Imagine that we’re 30 years ahead and your daughter has just had a baby and doesn’t want you to visit for a month. I can’t imagine how that would feel, can you?”

A different person asked:

“I do think it’s unfair to extended family who I assume are excited about the arrival – could you not just be a bit stricter with times when you are free for visitors?”