‘We never got to properly meet, did we?’
A mother has shared a heartbreaking open letter to the daughter she miscarried.
Blogger and first-time mum Phoebe Shields has said that although she never got to meet her baby, she was still there for “every moment” of the infant’s life.
Writing on her blog, PS, It’s A Mum Thing, she began:
“My darling,
“We never did get to meet properly did we? And yet, we were together for every moment of your life.
“You slipped away from me, quickly and quietly, without making an impression on the world. No one even knew you were there, except your daddy and I. But you should know that you were loved. I like to think that you know that already.”
Phoebe continued on to say that although some people didn’t think her daughter was there long enough to make a lasting impression, she had known she had wanted her for a very long time.
The mum said that she had made a “special place” in her heart for her, and now that space was empty.
“I have tried for years now to fill the hole you left,” she said.
“I thought, perhaps, when your brother was born he would take that space. But when he was conceived, my heart grew and created a special spot just for him, and yours was left untouched.
“But sometimes, when it is quiet and the house is still, that empty space in my heart echoes so loudly that it can’t be ignored .The hollow grief washes over me once more and I am stunned with the intensity of its power.”
Phoebe finished her letter by saying that she doesn’t fight these moments of grief, instead accepting that it is OK to be sad.
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