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Pregnancy

26th Feb 2018

Mum’s raw photo that shows the ‘reality’ of postpartum depression

Jade Hayden

tori block

Having a baby affects everyone differently.

For some mums, the transition into motherhood is smooth, delightful, and essentially uneventful.

For others, it’s a little more tricky, peppered with little speed bumps that may or may not affect your mind and your body.

One of the things that affects a lot of women after they give birth is postpartum depression.

The condition can be characterised by feeling low for extended periods of time, panic attacks, tearfulness, lack of motivation, guilt, rejection, or a sense of loneliness after giving birth.

It can also cause new mothers to experience frightening thoughts or hallucinations about their baby or their family.

One mum who experienced postpartum depression was Tori Block.

The Californian woman gave birth to her son over a year ago, and for a long time she suffered from physical and emotional pain “that engulfed me from thoughts in my brain.”

Tori got her partner to take a photo of her when her PPD was its most intense to prove to herself how far she had come.

She called it her “reality” of postpartum depression.

Tori wrote:

“I was lower than low, I wasn’t even myself.

“Looking back at this photo I remember perfectly the pain I felt, the dread in waking up everyday, the physical pain that engulfed me from thoughts in my brain.

“I had never known consuming, mind altering emotion such as this that flooded every fibre of my being, making its way through my veins like a plague.”

The mum went on to say that she let PPD consume her and that at that time, she didn’t want to live that kind of life.

“I didn’t want to leave this life, but it seemed like the only way that would rid me of the pain I was in.

“I didn’t ask for it, it wasn’t welcome. But there it was, and I kicked its fucking ass and beat it to the ground before I let it consume me, or much worse, take my life.”

According to the NHS, the condition affects one in 10 new mothers.

You can find out more about postpartum depression and how to treat it here.