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Pregnancy

14th Dec 2015

The No Bullsh*t Guide To.. The Early Symptoms Of Pregnancy

Sharyn Hayden

On Baby The First, my inability to recover quickly after polishing off a bottle of Bacardi at Christmas was a sure sign that something was going on with my body. On Baby The Second, it was the unreal tiredness that enveloped me every day, forcing me to the couch when I would otherwise be up and at ’em, that set the alarm bells ringing.

Every woman and every body is different, therefore how our bodies react after conception can vary from person to person.

Obviously, the best and only way to know for sure if you’re pregnant is to take a pregnancy test – either get seven home kits like I did (to be sure, to be sure) or head along to see your GP for confirmation.

However, in the interests of speculation when it comes to pregnancy, you might have some indication that there is a little bundle of joy on the way if you experience some or all of the following:

1. The pukes

Morning sickness, or ‘all day long sickness’ according to some women, is the most well-known symptom of pregnancy. The exact cause of morning sickness is unknown but it is widely attributed to the change in hormones that occur after conception. You won’t necessarily have your head down the toilet but may feel nauseous and be off certain foods. Time to pee on a stick, lady.

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2. Hungry monkey

I like to stuff my face as much as the next woman, but a hunger that absolutely will not be satisfied? Hmm, there’s something different about that. Your body has a lot of work to do in getting everything set up to house that baby for the next nine months so it isn’t any wonder that you have your head in the fridge at 3am. Get thee to the docs, stat.

3. A pretend period

Implantation bleeding occurs when the fertilized egg attaches itself to the wall of the uterus. This can cause spotting or cramping, which may resemble a period. The trick is that although it’s very light, you might just assume that you’ve had a period when in fact you haven’t. Sneaky Mother Nature.

4. Sore boobs

Breast tenderness can start a week after conception. Hormone levels start changing quickly right at conception, and a woman’s breasts are immediately affected. They might also be a bit enlarged and again, this is a sneaky symptom because lots of us experience this if we are due our period. The tell-tale sign for this one is that a) your period doesn’t arrive and b) your boobs never stop being sore. Crack open that pregnancy test.

5. Headaches

As your hormones change, you may suffer from headaches. This won’t be in any way helpful as a sign of pregnancy if you’re unaware that you might be knocked up and are still having a few scoops at the weekend. But a lingering headache, combined with some of the other signs above, might give you the nudge to call the surgery.

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6. Back pain

As your body readies itself for carrying a baby, it begins loosening ligaments, which causes back pain. If you’re not prone to aches and pains, then you might notice this one at the beginning of pregnancy. Take a bath, have a stretch and.. take a goddamn pregnancy test!

7. Wee, wee, wee.. all the way home

Can’t stop going to the loo? This might be a hint! During the first trimester, a woman’s uterus begins to enlarge and starts pushing on the bladder. Unwrap that pregnancy test, hold it mid-wee-flow and check the results, would you?!

8. Dizziness/fainting

If you find yourself accidentally swooning over the postman, you might need to consider that there’s something going on. Many pregnant women, especially early on in their pregnancy, experience dizziness or fainting due to circulatory changes and drops in blood pressure. Get the postie to deliver some home pregnancy tests the next time you see him.

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9. Missed period

Not everyone is completely regular with their periods, but if you are, and have missed a period for no good reason then.. pregnancy might be a pretty good bet. However, you might also skip a period due to stress or an irregular schedule so.. that’s right – take a test!

10. Exhaustion

If you are too tired to sit through one episode of Jessica Jones without falling asleep and (beautifully) drooling out the side of your mouth, then the pregnancy jig might be up. Pregnancy fatigue is often related to a high level of a hormone called progesterone, although other things, such as lower levels of blood sugar, lower blood pressure, and a boost in blood production, can all contribute. If you can drag your tired ass out of the house, get to the GPs office for a pregnancy test. It’s the only way.

If you think you might be pregnant, make an appointment to see your local GP as soon as possible.