I am quite happy to report that I have had two small children and have come out the other side relatively unscathed.
As my good friend Simpsonite declared when we were both pregnant with our first babies,
“We can do this! Sure we both know people who can’t dress themselves who’ve had kids!”
It was some comfort to know that we were strong, intelligent women with money in the bank and rooves over our heads when we were terrified about what was to come.
But even with those practical securities in place, I still found myself at something of a loss when my son, Jacob, came along.
I wasn’t ready. I hadn’t done enough homework. Was I going to break him?
I didn’t, of course, but in hindsight, I wish I had taken more time to learn how to become a mother.
Because ‘Becoming A Mother’ is a transition, it’s a new phase of life that you are entering into, and it really does need attention in order to get it something that you could call ‘right’.
If I had to give one piece of advice to an expectant mum, it would be this:
‘Approach motherhood like you would a brand new job that you are really excited about’
1. Work attire
If you were going to work on a building site, you’d have to buy steel-capped boots, hard hat and high vis vest (builder’s arse optional).
So get your motherhood kit in place: comfortable nursing bras, flat shoes or boots, easy-to-pull-on jumpers and t-shirts, big knickers, leggings, trackkie bottoms and roomy shirt dresses – your body will take some time to return to it’s pre-pregnancy state (I always reckon a full year) so in the meantime, embrace the Mammy Look.
2. Training
If you started a brand new job, for example, as an investment banker – how much training do you think you’d be given? Six weeks? Six months? A year? You can be sure that it would take the guts of a full year to feel confident enough to do the job without much trepidation, so why not approach being a new mum in the same way?
It takes time to learn the ropes: breastfeeding, changing, sleep routines, bathing, being in a whole new kind of love.. take your time and please know that you are essentially dedicating yourself to everyday learning for.. em.. forever.
3. Getting On With The Boss
There will be days when you think that your new boss is a bit of an asshole as they fling orange-coloured baby food at your white tiled floor. There will be days when you feel as though you might have a case for constructive dismissal as your new boss screams their demands for that toy, his blankie, that packet of sweets in the supermarket.
And then there will be days when you think your boss’s constant performance reviews – i.e, smiles, hugs, kisses and the holy grail, ‘Mama’ or ‘Dada’ – will make you realise that while your boss might be a little unstable at times, he/she is actually the best boss you’ve ever, ever had.
As we’re celebrating HerFamily.ie’s first birthday, this week we’re are taking a moment to reflect on some firsts of our own. From first positive pregnancy test to first sonogram, first giggles to first steps and first hugs to first words. Tell us about your favourite firsts of parenthood, join the conversation on Facebook and Twitter. #HerFamilyBirthday
