7 years ago

The pregnancy diaries: When the test is positive!

I don’t know why, but I’ve always been one of those women who just can’t buy a ‘female product’ in isolation. If I need sanitary pads or tampax, I have to bury them in a basket alongside things I definitely don’t need such as a bag of strangely shaped fruit from far-flung countries or boy band mugs.Last Sunday, I found myself in the local grocery shop doing the same silly thing – except this time they were alongside a pregnancy test. By the time I got to the till, I was also purchasing three horrible looking tea-towels and a pack of citron smelling outdoor candles – even though we didn’t have a garden. Of course the cashier didn’t bat an eyelid or express any emotion, and if she did, she hid it well as I looked back twice to check before I got to the exit.

Not wanting to find out alone, I sat my husband down and showed him the test. We were both really surprised to be doing this as I had only stopped taking the pill a few weeks ago. There was no waiting around – I peed on the stick as instructed and then, as agreed in our team talk, passed it to my hubby to read. After five minutes – the result was clear. The test hadn’t worked as there was no indication one way or another!

Luckily, the pack I bought offered two tests. This time, I made sure to pee correctly (who would have thought there was a right way!!), and I could see the mark take shape after just a few seconds. I knew it was positive and as soon as my husband saw the single red mark he began to smile.

We hugged and kissed, although I knew what was about to happen had not really sunk in. We were both in a state of shock and tried to digest the news over tea in terrible looking cups.

I honestly couldn’t believe it could happen to me or for that matter ANYONE so soon after coming off the pill. Two days later, the nurse at the clinic said I should ‘consider myself lucky’ as she could relay a stream of stories about women who were unable to conceive. One particular lady had been trying for four years without success and had spent a lot of money in doing so. She added I should ‘be thrilled and excited’ to embark on parenthood – she had two children of her own and apparently loved every minute of motherhood.Unfortunately at this moment in time, I didn’t feel ready for all that.I had only been a wife to my husband for less than two months.There were plans to go to weddings and parties, to travel abroad to visit friends and family. I felt cheated and deprived of these opportunities so soon, but ultimately it was all my fault – I made the decision to go off the pill believing the urban myth it would take months to conceive after doing so.

As I stared at my urine sample full of hormones that screamed pregnant, I could barely hear the nurses advice on tips to allay morning sickness. I was six weeks pregnant and in a state of shock. I smiled awkwardly at the woman in the starched white dress who could only offer kind and informative words to me.

Things are about to change in my life for better or worse – I’m going to be a mammy!

Welcome to the first in our Pregnancy Diaries series, stay with us every week for more from 'Big Belly' as she continues her pregnancy adventure.