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Early years

11th May 2022

This mum is leaving her new baby for a month and people aren’t impressed

Most new mums hate the idea of being away from their baby.

One mother has caused controversy by stating in an online forum that she’s planning on being away from her three-month-old baby for an entire month.

The new mum told users of the site that she had planned to travel before getting pregnant and doesn’t want to cancel her plans.

She took to Mumsnet to find out if others thought her baby would notice that she was gone for such a long period of time.

“Hello. I have an 8 week old right now, but when he is 3.5m, I need to go abroad for one month. It’s for the muslim pilgrimage (hajj). We had made the decision to go this year before I got pregnant and it’s the best time for me and my DH as it would be complicated next year.”

Personally, I would ask my husband to rearrange whatever his ‘complication’ was for the following year rather than be away from my baby for an entire month and it seems I’m not alone.

One commenter wrote.

“Whilst I’m aware of the importance of Hajj, do you really want to miss this month with your baby? Friends of mine have made this pilgrimage when their children were much older. Is this an option for you?”

Others were quite worried about how distressed such a small baby would become.

“No way, I think it would be traumatic to be separated from primary care giver at such a young age for such a long time (which it will be for a tiny baby).”

Most posters were of the same train of though, that she should wait till the child was older before heading on the pilgrimage.

“He will realise you are gone. I would wait till DS is older. (I am Asian but not Muslim and I know how important the hajj is). None of my Muslim friends have done the hajj till their kids were older. Also why a month? Normally those of my friends who have done it go for 10 days.”

A couple of years ago I was invited along to a retreat in Germany and myself and my husband decided I should go without our daughter, who would be almost a year at the time.

The closer it got to the date though I became panicked about how she would cope as she’s a mummy’s girl and I knew she would be missing me. The worst though was that she wouldn’t understand that I was coming back and cry the entire week.

In the end to give us both peace of mind I booked, her to come with me. I just know I wouldn’t be able to concentrate or enjoy the trip knowing how unhappy she would be.

The new mum has stated that the child will be cared for by her parents who spend a lot of time with the baby, but I find myself agreeing with the other mums that one month is just far too long to be away from a tiny baby.

What do you think? Would you be able to spend several weeks away from your new baby or do you think she should cancel her trip?