Finally, the baby gets their say.
Being a new parents is stressful, not least when you have to welcome all the visitors who want to meet your new bundle of joy.
Mum and dad can come across as anxious and overbearing as they gently set rules for guests so we’re delighted that a ‘newborn’ has shared their own recommendations.
In a post on the Madelina Birth and Baby page on Facebook, the baby calls on visitors not to kiss them, overstay their welcome or bring their own kids along.
Here they are in full:
“1. Do not kiss me, anywhere, at any time, no matter how delicious I look. In fact, do not put your face anywhere near my face or my hands and make sure you wash your hands before touching me anywhere.
“2. If my parents hand me to you in a baby carrier, use it. Do not take me out of the carrier under any circumstance. My friends and I tend to be sensitive to your clothes, detergent, excessive perfumes/colognes, so just keep me in my carrier and I’ll play nice.
“3. I’m sure your children in particular are the healthiest children in the world, but, let me put it this way – it’s not you, it’s me. I am born a germaphobe and it may take me a couple of months to adjust to this yucky world. And don’t ask mommy and daddy if you can bring your kids anyway – they really don’t enjoy saying no.
“4. If I start crying when I’m with you, please give me back to mommy. I get you want to soothe me and be a superhero for doing it but I really just want my mommy and daddy.
“5. I get hungry, sleepy, poopy, and fussy around the clock. If you want to visit me, plan to come for less than an hour so mommy and daddy can get back to giving me their undivided attention instead of hosting you! Also, don’t plan on eating here (my mom barely eats, she doesn’t have time to feed you) or staying over unless you want to listen to my high pitched audition for the best opera singer in town – practice time is always in the middle of the night!
“6. It’s just spit up, relax yourself. Listen, you wanted to hold me, burp me, swaddle me, soothe me (see above), so now deal with it. Like I said, this is what I do – AROUND THE CLOCK!
“7. Please don’t expect my Mommy to call you, text or post a million photos on FB. She’s taking good care of me and would rather stare at my sweet face than her phone.”
Are there any more rules you think visitors should follow? Let us know in the Facebook comments or on Twitter.
