Seriously?! This new mum’s husband guilt-tripped her for asking for help

Should dads take on more duties while mum recovers?

One mum spoke candidly on Netmums that she thinks dads should take on night duties while mum is on maternity leave. The discussion began when her brother insisted that mums should take on night feeds because they're the ones with the time off. This then led to her husband insulting her for asking him to help with their baby.

"So, I’ve just had a big debate with my brother, we are currently staying at his house with him and his wife and 2 children, He says that all night time responsibilities should land with the mother while she’s on maternity leave, because she isn’t working mainly......I understand that most of the night shift stuff should be done by the mother when the dad is getting up for work each day, however I don’t see how we are meant to be super human and survive on zero hours sleep a night!" I was exhausted after a week of early get ups and not a lot of sleep from the heat. I asked her dad, my other half, if he would get up with her this morning. He did it and all I’ve had all day from him and my brother is sly comments, saying I’m lazy and don’t do anything all day so I should be the one that always gets up with her."

Currently, sleep deprived myself from dealing with a teething baby all night I can understand her need for a break and her frustration at being guilt tripped for it. It seems I wasn't the only one as many other Netmums users were just as annoyed that her husband and brother would be so cruel.

"My other half works night shifts 4 days a week. He always get our little lady if she wakes up at the weekend as he says: I’ve had the night shift all week. Sorry that both of them are being absolute *****! Just want to say you are doing a fantastic job mumma!Sod them"

Some other mums felt it should be a shared duty and that maybe they could split the nights;

"If he works full time then no. Absolutely not. No offense. He can't lie on the sofa at work if he's tired or switch off and get a cuppa of go to sleep when baby does. Trust me the sleepless nights get a hell of a lot easier after 16 weeks I dunno they sleep longer streches and gradually before you know it your 4 hour wakes become 6 then 8 then 12 If it's part time work then divide your nights. If he's not working then yes share all your nights."

While I think it's fair enough not to ask your husband to do night feeds while you're off and he's still up early for work in the morning, what happens when you go back to work? This came up in my house recently and we're still trying to figure out the right work/family balance. Most nights it's still me dealing with our daughter during the night which means me being a zombie at work for the rest of the day. In these kinds of situations, every family are different and both parents need to sit down and plan out what schedule will work best for their lives.