Figures released this week by The Institute for Family Studies have shown that America’s generation gap is surfacing in a surprising way: rates of extramarital sex are significantly higher in the over 55s.
Data from the General Social Survey reveals that older men and women are cheating on their spouses more than their younger counterparts, with 20 percent of married Americans over the age of 55 reporting they’ve engaged in extramarital sex. But just 14 percent of those under 55 say they’ve cheated, according to Nicholas H. Wolfinger, a professor of family studies at the University of Utah.
Professor Wolfinger found that while the overall number of Americans who report having sex outside of marriage has held relatively steady at approximately 16 percent over the past 30 years, that trend has obscured an eyebrow-raising age-related difference.
Rates of extramarital sex by age have diverged since 2000, with increased cheating reported by people in their 50s and 60s, Wolfinger said. Most of these respondents were married between 20 years and 30 years. However, he adds that there may be more going on than lengthy marriages and midlife crises. These older Americans also came of age in the wake of the sexual revolution and, over the course of their lifetimes, have had more sex partners compared to their younger compatriots.
Also, while a majority of Americans continue to disapprove of extramarital sex, attitudes have softened, particularly among older survey respondents. Professor Wolfinger observes that the General Social Survey asks respondents about extramarital sex, not explicitly adultery. This raises the possibility that the results reflect a rise in polyamory or “ethical nonmonogamy,” extramarital relationships conducted with the ‘permission’ of a spouse:
“No matter how many polyamorists there are today, old-fashioned adultery seems to have risen among older Americans and the consequences are plain.
Even as overall divorce rates have fallen in recent decades, there has been a startling surge in ‘grey divorce’ among the middle-aged. Part of that story seems to be a corresponding increase in midlife adultery, which seems to be both the cause and the consequence of a failing marriage.”
Professor Wolfinger says that, despite the findings, there is still hope for the future of monogamy:
“The declining rates of extramarital sex among younger Americans seemingly portends a future of monogamous marriage. But the seeds sown by the sexual revolution continue to bear unanticipated fruit among older Americans.”
