In the last almost five years of being a parent, I have worked at home (parenting), from home (writing) and now three days a week at the office. It’s been eventful, to say the least.
I tell you all this because I want you to know that I don’t favour any scenario over the other, I think that each have pros and cons, and ultimately, we all have to do what makes us and our family happy.
One thing I CAN now comment on from experience, is how much more equal the parenting and household share seems to be, since I am working more steady hours outside of our house.
Prior to this, my partner Alan was the one who held regular hours, and would leave the house each day with little responsibility other than to bring home the bacon (which is burden a-plenty, I know).
But if on those days, I had something to do, some place to be, or some work to do while the baby napped and the toddler was at school, I sort of had to orchestrate it all myself.
Now, don’t get me wrong. Alan is a super dad and actually pretty great around the house and in the kitchen (which is a god send considering that I can make a balls of potatoes. Yes, just boiled potatoes, seriously).
The thing is, when you know that someone is there and will take care of things, such as a partner who is at home and available to do the school runs, the packed lunches and the organising, you just sort of.. let them, don’t you?
Mostly, it didn’t bother me in the sense that I was at home, and did have the privilege of being there for the kids, so I was ok to get through the daily chores.
But other times, it really did get me down. Like when I did want to go and do something for myself and between the kids, Alan’s work, one thing or another, it just wasn’t at all possible and I felt a bit.. ripped off.
Now that I have to be up and gone three days a week, and not as available as I was, it means that everyone has jobs to do, to share the chores.
Dinners get prepped and made the night before so that the childminder has something to feed the kids.
Alan has to be home early three nights out of six when I get home late, something that he didn’t have to do before. He could just work as late as he pleased (and self-employed people generally work really late!)
For me, it makes things seem fair. The bonuses are that my partner gets to be much more hands-on with the kids and they see lots of him which they love.
And on my days off in between being at the office, I get to hang out with the kids and catch up on the ironing..
..I didn’t say that everything was shared!
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