Ban the baby bicker: 3 ways to child-proof your relationship

Michelle and Barack Obama are a great example of a couple who kept their marriage (and love for each other) alive despite the stresses and strains of being the President and First Lady, having kids, and living in the public eye.

All very well for those two with their staff, nannies, and a private jet I hear you say. But what can us mere mortals do to child- and stress-proof our relationships?

1. Communicate

Many couples tend to neglect communication in their relationship when they become parents. Stuck firmly in their roles of mums and dads, conversation becomes 'functional' and what was once an evening chat about each other's day becomes a practical to-do list of tasks requiring attention. In long-term couples, the absence of dialogue and communication fosters misunderstandings and frustrations. Both men and women can easily fall into the trap of 'knowing' what their other half is going to say or how they will respond and not bothering to communicate as a result. Yes, the day-to-day organisation and practicalities of family life are a conversational reality. However, if your children have become the sole topic of conversation (for one or both of you) then you need to put aside some time to NOT discuss the little beauties. There really are other things to talk about, I promise. 2. Date Ah, wonderful children...who'd be without them? Well, science says parents (regularly) should be if they want their marriage to survive. According to a study by the Marriage Foundation, couples who go on a date night just once a month are fourteen percent less likely to break up. Professor Steve McKay, of the University of Lincoln, and his colleagues used data from the Millennium Cohort Study of 10,000 mothers who were either married or cohabiting as a couple when their child was nine months old. The researchers looked at how often these couples went out together at that time and then compared it to see if they were still a couple a decade later.

The results were interesting; of 9,969 couples surveyed, 11 percent managed a weekly date night, 30 percent dated once a month, 23 percent went out as a couple less than once a month and 36 percent never went out together. The study found that the positive effect of a monthly date night only worked on married couples, and not cohabiting couples. They also found that holding the dates more frequently, such as weekly, did not increase the chances of staying together. Phew...at least some pressure is off then. So c'mon you know you want to, spend on a babysitter and save on a divorce.

3. Stop fighting about money Household management, sex and, good ol' money issues are the most common battlegrounds for married couples. Money issues are not something that many people feel comfortable discussing outside of their relationship but are a major source of stress nonetheless. If one of you burns through money while the other is as tight as a duck's proverbial it can cause near-constant bickering and a lack of trust. Arguments about the family finances can also indicate a power struggle in a marriage. Withholding or, alternatively, spending money can become a non-verbal way of taking out building frustrations on each other. Financial experts recommend that individuals in a relationship should aim to keep some degree of financial independence. However, planning together - physically together - in front of a piece of paper or a spreadsheet on a laptop means both parties can see the real-life impact of spending versus saving.