Surveys suggest body image is a major concern for most Irish teens, with anxiety over shape and size beginning ever earlier. Meanwhile, parents worry about the fine line between encouraging health and fitness and instilling body acceptance and confidence.
Psychologist Dr Deirdre Cowman is passionate about promoting body confidence and created the book, The Magnificent Toby Plum, to help primary school children with the issue.
Here’s her advice for parents:
“Research suggests that children begin to notice their own and other bodies from a very young age. We learn about ourselves by comparing ourselves to others so noticing how your body differs from others is an important part of development. A certain amount of commenting on bodies is to be expected, but pay close attention to the way your child talks about their body. Reports of dieting, fear of fatness, body image concerns and weight loss attempts, as well as cases of more serious eating disorders have all been documented in children as young as seven years old.”
Recent research with college age women tells us that time spent on Facebook is associated with body dissatisfaction, so, as children begin to access social media sites, it may be helpful to limit the amount of time that they can spend on them. Comparing yourself to images on Facebook and Instagram can have a negative impact on the way we perceive ourselves so it is important to remind young people that people generally only post their most flattering photos online and that the images are often digitally altered so they don’t reflect what people look like in real life.
Monitor the media that your child is exposed to and help them to question the images they see. For example, you can ask your child if the people that they see in their favourite TV shows look like the people that they see in real life, or ask them if they think the models and actors that they see in advertisements really look like that in real life. Listen to your child and focus on the feelings behind their behaviour.
Accept your own body shape and size and do not talk negatively about your body or the bodies of others in front of your child. Sit down together as a family to eat balanced, nutritious meals with plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables. Understand that your children are growing and have appetites to match – keep nutritious food in the house so that they can grab a healthy snack. Emphasise fun, fitness and health rather than weight loss. Never encourage your child to diet.
Parents do not want their children to have health problems and so may make well-intentioned comments about weight that have unintended negative outcomes. My advice for parents would be to avoid commenting on weight or appearance and instead to encourage your child to be active in ways that they enjoy. Interestingly, campaigns and interventions that aim to promote positive body image or body acceptance are sometimes met with a bit of negative backlash based on the fear that they may give people ‘permission to be fat’. However, many experts argue that is important to love and respect your body in order to be able to really take care of it. Campaigns that are overly focused on weight-loss or that try to motivate people to be healthy based on guilt, fear or shame are not effective.
If you are concerned about your child’s eating habits or body image, it is important to have on open conversation with them about it. Focus on how they are feeling and why they are feeling that way. If they are not able to tell you right away, at least they know that you are concerned and open to talking about it. There’s lots of helpful information for parents on the Bodywhys website and they also have a helpline (LoCall 1890 200 444), support groups and online support options that can be helpful if you would like to talk to someone about it.”
Dr Deirdre Cowman is director of Endangered Bodies Ireland and co-author of The Magnificent Toby Plum. The book, written with Deirdre Ryan aims to promote self-acceptance and an understanding that it’s perfectly normal for people to come in different shapes and sizes.
