‘I Wore A Waist Trainer For Three Weeks And This Is What Happened’ #2

Katie Mythen-Lynch is a card-carrying, lifelong fan of the gimmick. This is what happened when she attempted waist training for three weeks.  Read Week One here... ------------------- Day 8 I meet my Mum for a drink. Wearing a waist trainer to the pub is tricky because it throws your drink:wee ratio significantly out of whack in favour of the wee. I'm no scientist but I can see how this may eventually help you to lose weight by forcing you to reconsider the number of drinks you consume in order to avoid spending half the night in the bathroom queue. I've also discovered that the waist trainer, while not exactly comfortable, does some of its best work when worn with jeans and a fitted tee - it pulls in your middle, positions your boobs a touch higher than the boobs of any human woman are technically supposed to be and smooths out any muffin top. My mother notices this immediately and demands to know if I've had a breast augmentation or the Winter Vomiting Bug. Result! Day 9 Slightly hungover and feeling brave, I attempt the waist training selfie. Some would argue this is the whole point of the waist trainer. These photos are more difficult than they look. After my fourth attempt turns out like a cut scene from a film noir B-movie, I decide the Kardashians must enlist personal professional photographers to do their selfies so their giant shadows don't loom menacingly over the entire room. I simply can't bring myself to tweet my waist training selfie à la Khloe, Kourt and Kim. The silliness is off the chain. Day 10 I am beginning to love the way the waist trainer allows your body to wear clothes your brain says you are too fat for. Shut up brain! We're wearing this and there's nothing you can do about it! Depending on what colour waist trainer you choose, underneath your clothes you may look like you are wearing a scoliosis brace or an orthoepaedic pelvic girdle. On the outside though? Perfection. They're the Jane Fonda of body shaping garments. If you want my advice I would maybe give it a rest on Tinder night or whatever. It might look slightly dominatrix-like but you'd have to be an actual sadomasochist to have sex while wearing a waist trainer. Day 12 I've noticed that when I take the waist trainer off at the end of the day, the 'hour glass' effect remains. According to WaistTrainers.ie, the compression in your core stimulates thermal activity and boosts perspiration, which in turn allows toxins and impurities to leave the skin and mobilises fat cells. I don't know how long this would last if I stopped using the waist trainer completely but it is an interesting observation. Could the squishing be for keeps? Take that, musculoskeletal system. Day 13 Having grown accustomed to having my middle permanently squeezed like a Frube, I decide I'm ready to wear the waist trainer to a team dinner with the HerFamily.ie crew. I avoid carbs (too much stodge makes it tighten uncomfortably, which is a handy deterrent if your spirit animal is a while roll slathered in Kerrygold) but enjoy dinner and don't think about the waist trainer once until the end of the night when I briefly consider whipping it off in the taxi on the way home. I decide against horrifying my lovely Senegalese driver and hold out for ten more minutes. Taking it off is like taking off your bra in the evening; it's a huge relief but you feel a bit wobbly without it. NEXT WEEK: Katie goes full Kardashian and wears a waist trainer to the gym. AND: The verdict: Did three weeks of waist training make any difference to her waistline?  Main image: Marc Lagrange