Mum asks for advice on sleepovers after parent told her she was ‘irresponsible’

It's normal to have sleepovers with friends from time to time.

We had them when we were kids, and now our children have them too. However, when your child first starts having sleepovers, it can be difficult as you don't know other parents' parenting styles. Some are more strict than others, and one mum certainly found that out after her own daughter held a sleepover in her house.

"DD2 (11) had a sleepover with 3 friends last night, I pretty much just let them get on with it and do what they liked," she began. "I've had a furious text of 1 girls mother now though asking me what the hell I was doing and how could I be so irresponsible and saying there is no chance of her dd being allowed round here again."

In the forum on Mumsnet, the mother lists out all the things she potentially did wrong:

-I didn't give them them a proper dinner. I let them sort their own takeaway and it turns out they only ordered loads of sides and deserts so no main meal or vegetables. -Left them alone in a supermarket. DH drove them there to get snacks, he got petrol and waited it the car while they went in and got what they wanted. -Let them watch a 12 rated film ( Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children), I didn't know it was a 12 but even if I did I would have let them watch it anyway so that's not an excuse. - I let her dd have her hair curled. DD1(22) did it as they all asked her to do. I wouldn't have let four 11 year old do it themselves in case one of them got burned. I also think dd1 put face masks on them but the mum didn't mention this in the text. -They didn't have a proper bed and didn't go to bed until midnight. We had proper beds out in dd's room but it was really hot with all of them in there so they ended up sleeping on living room floor with pillows and blankets. -They went on the trampoline unsupervised, they woke up in the middle of the night and went outside to do this, I didn't know this and probably would have said no if they'd asked but I didn't care when they told me in the morning.

She then asks if she's being unreasonable to think that that was a normal 11-year-old's sleepover. Many mums agreed that the other mum was very uptight, with one saying:

"Pfft ignore! Sounds like a brilliant sleepover! Surely sleepovers are all about eating junk, staying up late and watching films?! Like you said, it's not like you let your dd do these things all the time, it's a treat!"

While another said:

"I’d be fine with that. But I guess you never know what other parents think, so I wouldn’t let them watch a 12 film myself unless I knew other parents were flexible. And the supermarket as well unless I knew they were allowed out on their own, although if an 11 year old is not allowed in a shop with two friends now how will she cope in year 7 in a few weeks?! "Maybe the friend is just massively grumpy now after a broken nights sleep and mum is annoyed."

What do you think? Would you be annoyed if your daughter went to a sleepover like this?