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Big Kids

03rd Sep 2021

Mum wonders whether she should let her teen daughter have sex in her house

Melissa Carton

Would you let your daughter have sex here?

One mum took to Netmums to seek advice on what she should do about her teen daughter and her boyfriend.

She said that recently her daughter’s boyfriend has been coming around to the house and that she knows eventually the two of them will start fooling around.

Her issue is whether or not to allow it to happen in her house?

couple kissing

She posted on the online parenting forum looking for advice on what she should do;

“The time has dawned upon me where my daughter has brought home her boyfriend at the age of 16. Of course, the first question to be asked was ‘can we go to my room?’

Her boyfriend is a nice, respectable boy, me and his parents have been friends for years. However this doesn’t change the fact that they are both teenagers. Having once been a teenager myself, honestly, I know that the majority of teenage couples will start to experiment with each others bodies, behind closed doors or with the doors wide open, as long as nobody is watching.

I don’t want to walk in and see them having a fondle for the sake of my embarrassment and their own, but at the same time I want to give my daughter the freedom and safe environment she would need, the last thing I want is her doing it in some skip, and speaking from my personal teenage experience with a VERY strict mother, public places are not the place to do it!

So, should I let my daughter and her boyfriend in her room, or should I make them stay downstairs?! Hope someone can help me?”

A lot of posters pointed out that there isn’t much you can do to stop someone over the age of 16 from becoming sexually active and that giving her good sex education was the best course of action;

“I think you’ve answered your own question really! If you make them stay downstairs they will probably just find somewhere else to experiment sexually, which is what you want to avoid. If you haven’t already maybe have a chat with your daughter about boundaries and respect – not just between them but how you expect her to behave if you trust her to be sensible and spend time with her boyfriend in her room.
I doubt you will just walk in, you will be far too aware of what could be going on in there! ”

“If you seriously want advice then ensure your child is protected with a form of birth control. Preferably before any closed door action.”

Some posters jokingly pointed out that the situation could be much worse;

“At least you don’t live in a bungalow. Small mercies eh?”

The original poster decided, in the end, to go with everyone’s advice and let her daughter’s boyfriend go up to her room but also to make sure her daughter was using protection.

My children are nowhere near this stage in their lives yet so I’m not sure how I will feel when I have to cross this bridge.

What do you think?

Would you let your teenage child have sex in your house or is that just a big no as far as you’re concerned?