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22nd Mar 2022

My mother-in-law wants our baby to call her mama- is this a step too far?

Kat O'Connor

How would you feel if you were this woman?

There are so many different names for our grandmothers; Grandma, Nanny, Gaga, Nana, Gam Gam, the list is endless.

However, one grandmother has made quite the odd request.

A mum-to-be has revealed her mother-in-law doesn’t want to be called anything like granny or nana but instead wants her baby to refer to her as ‘mama’.

She explained that she is trying to conceive her first child with her partner.

But instead of supporting the couple, her mother-in-law has been causing a lot of tension with her strange request.

She told Mumsnet, “My partner’s mum wants the baby to refer to her as ‘mama’. She already has other grandchildren which do this, which makes her feel as though she’s justified in wanting this.

The woman explained that her boyfriend’s family call his grandma ‘mama’ too.

His great-grandmother is also referred to as ‘great mama’.

But she doesn’t feel comfortable with the mother-in-law’s suggestion.

After all, she’s the one who will be the child’s mother.

“He’s a mummy’s boy and I feel bad breaking family tradition but I’m really not comfortable with this.

“I’m the bad guy in this situation and they keep reassuring me that there is a subtle pronunciation difference but I can’t hear it.”

The woman’s in-laws keep telling her that she’s ruining a family tradition, but surely it is a little unfair to expect her to agree to this, right?

They even told her she will “confuse the grandchildren if they all use different names to refer to their grandmother”.

“They’ve made it clear it’s not open to discussion but I can’t get my head around it. Am I being unreasonable?” she asked.

Fellow mums were quick to side with her.

One said, “I would be very firm and up and upfront and tell them they can be grandma/Nan/granny etc but not mama. Repeat like a broken record.”

Another stressed, “Your child, your choice.”