One Year On: The Power Of The Parent In Ireland’s Marriage Referendum

Sharyn Hayden

I was due to fly out to Prague with my parents on the day of the vote for Marriage Equality in Ireland.

We had booked the flights before the date to vote was called and I struggled briefly with what to do.

As the date drew nearer, the fight got really dirty.

I have been a very vocal advocate of equal rights for many years, and so posted to my Facebook page;

“If you are voting ‘No’ in this referendum, then I need you to ‘DeFriend’ me immediately, because I personally think you’re a d*ckhead”

Harsh, I know, but I figured that anyone who I was genuinely ‘friends’ with would be of a similar mindset as I was – that equal rights for marriage in Ireland wasn’t just an LGBT issue – it was a HUMAN issue.

#MarRefMemories En route to vote with the parents. ❤️ pic.twitter.com/Qm6zf6bxtM

— Liam Geraghty (@Liam_Geraghty) May 21, 2016

Sadly, several people DID Defriend me as a result of the post and I was genuinely taken aback.

So I changed my flights to Prague and decided to stay and fight for equality by casting my YES vote.

When I arrived to Prague a day later than planned and sat with my parents in our hotel bar to await the Referendum results, I was a little bit sad not to be at The George or Panti Bar or even a private party with some of my gay friends and family.

But I was also really glad to be with my parents so that we could witness the momentous occasion together.

You see, my parents didn’t ‘know’ any gay people until I came along and started introducing them to my various LGBT friends.

And of of course my personal favourite ??#marrefmemories #mammies pic.twitter.com/pNyNXMJ6m4

— John Lyons (@JohnLyons77) May 21, 2016

I didn’t make a deal out of it, and neither did they – they just trusted that I would make friends with really lovely people who made me happy to be around and so if I loved them, then they loved them too.

I cried my eyes out in that hotel bar in Prague when the ‘YES’ result came through – for everyone who felt as though they weren’t good enough, for every same-sex family who have hidden their true relationship status, for every proud parent who supported their child no matter what, for the happiness it would bring so many parents of LGBT children who worried about how life might be ‘harder’ for them..

..and mostly, I cried for love.

Because love DID win that day.