'The tale of the toxic bridesmaid'... would you dump her? 4 years ago

'The tale of the toxic bridesmaid'... would you dump her?

We've all had toxic friends, but what about toxic bridesmaids?

When it comes to one of the most important days of your life, you don't want anything to ruin it. No drama, no fuss.

But what about when you ask your toxic friend to be your bridesmaid? Are you just waiting for trouble to happen?

A woman shared her story about how she asked one of her friends to be her bridesmaid but now wants to dump her from not only her wedding, but her life.

She wrote:

"She and her partner got engaged a few years ago after their DD was born. I've had five dates in my calendar for her wedding now over the last few years, none of which have actually happened. Cue plenty of time spent wasted looking at wedding venues and suppliers which she never actually intended to book. This year, she settled for a date over a year away and sent out save the dates. She then magnanimously announced to me that she "wouldn't be angry if I got married before her". I wasn't even engaged.

"Fast forward a bit. DP and I are now engaged (hooray!) and are getting married... A few months before her. She made it clear that her primary concern was my availability to help her organise her wedding now. I felt like I had to ask her to be a bridesmaid because she'd kick off if I didn't.

"On Friday night she rang me to complain about the other bridesmaids and threatened not to come to the wedding. She changed her tune when I told her that was "a shame but up to her". Same again when she said she was going to cancel her own wedding because "this is all too much" (I haven't actually asked her to do or organise anything).

"AIBU to want to completely cut contact with this person? I don't even want her at the wedding for fear of her either sulking in a corner or causing some sort of scene... Far less than having her as a bridesmaid."


Many replied to the post saying that she should just cut her from her life completely. One said:

"FFS, get rid and don't look back. Sometimes we wake up and realize just how toxic some people are to our lives. I've been there, too. Cut ties and move on. You'll be very glad you did."

While another wrote:

"Cut her off right now.

"Tell her plainly that her actions around your wedding are the reason '... my wedding obviously isn't making you happy and your objections are not making me happy so let's just part company here' and then block her... tell your closest friends and family what you have done and why... and let her do what she will."

What would you do if you were in this woman's situation?