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11th Dec 2018

The two things every relationship needs to last the distance, according to one expert

Cathy Donohue

Would you agree?

While a relationship might be hearts and flowers to start with, there’s no denying that it takes work to ensure a relationship goes the distance.

Over time, there are highs and lows and of course, it’s understandable that sometimes you and your partner just don’t see eye to eye.

However, when this happens, there are ways to tackle the problem and it’s all about trying your best to understand your partner and vice versa.

Relationship psychotherapist and author, Esther Perel, has broken it down in simple terms and explained the two qualities that are absolutely essential for a relationship to survive.

Empathy and responsibility.

Chatting with Business Insider, Esther explained:

“There are not many things that are as important in a strained relationship as the ability to show empathy for the experience of the other; to acknowledge what the other person is going through; to validate that the other person is going through this, that it makes sense that they would be feeling this way”.

The professional, author of Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, acknowledges that fights with your significant other can escalate because sometimes, you just can’t see the other person’s point of view.

Showing your partner that you understand their point of view means that even if you fight, both of you can be happy with the outcome because you can see where each other is coming from.

She also makes the point that it’s important to be responsible for your own behaviour, instead of criticising your partner’s shortcomings.