Bafta-winning actor Jason Watkins has opened up on the loss of his two-year-old daughter, who died suddenly from undiagnosed sepsis.
The 62-year-old and his wife, Clara Francis, lost their daughter Maude on New Year’s Day in 2011 as a result of a life-threatening reaction to an infection.
Their grief was the subject of a 2023 ITV documentary titled Jason & Clara: In Memory of Maudie.
Speaking to the i Watkins said he found it difficult to return to work after his loss.
He said: "I was thinking, ‘What is the point of this pretending?’"
The McDonald and Dodds star said he continued for financial reasons, though it doubled as therapy.
He said: "I think it was being somebody else or having somebody else’s thoughts. It was work that was all-consuming."
Watkins has two children from a previous marriage and two other children with Francis, but says bereavement has changed him as a person.
He said: "I was very selfish [before]. You have to be thick-skinned in this business.
"The pain you have suffered can be slightly ameliorated. You can’t go into a hole. You keep going forward. It’s opened up a different world for me."
Watkins and his wife have since gotten involved in bereavement and sepsis awareness charities, however, he said the grieving process has remained difficult.
He said: "When we were looking through Maude’s things with our friend, I was thinking, ‘Is this a good thing to be doing?’ We knew it would be difficult, but because we were in charge of telling the story, it was bearable."
Speaking about the documentary on Good Morning Britain last year, the 62-year-old said it aimed to show that families 'can survive' such a loss.
"We are an imperfect family who have survived the worst thing that can happen to a parent," he said.
"It’s indescribable, the sense of guilt, loss, the absence of your child, the light of your life is gone, and you don’t know how you can go on."
Watkins is currently starring in The Seagull at the Barbican.
