Balls, belts and ballet slippers: 10 tell-tale signs you are a sports mum now
It has happened.
First, it was just ballet. Once a week, no stress, all cute tutu's and tiny leotards. Then came second class and school hockey. Then my little boy was suddenly not so little anymore and I figured football might be a good idea – all fresh and outdoorsy and team spirit and all that. Then he kind of wanted to be a Ninja and the closest thing to that I could find was Taekwando classes. Then he loved it so much his sister wanted to do it too – and part of me mentally high-fived her for learning to kick some butt – I'm sure that can't hurt.
But the thing is – now, we are talking a schedule filled with activities. So. Many. Activities.
And I have got to admit it – I am a full-blown sports mum – and here is how I realised:
1. Goodbye weekend brunch
Remember the days when you had time to indulge in eggs Benedicts and the Sunday papers? Yeah. Me too. Now? Now our weekend mornings are so rushed trying to get ready and out the door for soccer practise that I am bound to catch salmonella one of these days from my scrambled eggs that are so rushed they barely touch the pan before I inhale them on the go.
2. All your money goes to the drive-thru coffee place
As my friend kindly pointed out recently, I should have bought shares in our local drive-thru coffee place – as it is literally the one thing that keeps me awake and alive on those mornings when I cannot believe I have to endure another hour pitch-side in the freezing cold.
3. Gear – So. Much. Gear
Balls. Hockey sticks. Shinguards. Ballet shoes. Leg warmers. Helmets. Tutu skirts. Taekwando belts – it's hard AF to be all Marie Kondo when your kids are doing five million sports.
4. You have considered buying a collapsible chair
What has happened to me?! Also – should I get one that has a cup holder..? Just asking for a friend...
5. All the weather apps
You check them several times a day. Maybe, just maybe that 95 percent chance of rain on hockey day will somehow magically improve if I just check it one more time...
6. You give up cleaning the car
What is the actual point when in another two days' time you'll once again have half a team of hockey players drag a field worth of mud and grass through the backseat of your car? Also – let's not even get started on the state of the boot.
7. You watch Youtube tutorials on how to achieve the perfect ballet bun
It's the new Netflix, I swear... *envious of people who actually have watched all episodes of The Crown and those stalker/abductor shows I have yet to see.
8. You spend money on warm and waterproof footwear
Never mind the cute new season stuff in Zara. These days, I am super excited about having dropped €160 on a pair of Sorel Caribou boots that will make those mid-winter soccer practises a little less dreadful for me.
9. You're starting to understand Korean
Seriously, I have now watched so many Taekwando training sessions, I genuinely think my Korean isn't half bad.
10. At least I get to live in my yoga pants
Never mind the fact that I barely have time to get to yoga classes on weekends these days, at least I can wear the pants while rushing from ballet classes to football matches – and nobody bats an eyelid. Sports mums are not an overly dressy bunch, thank God. After all, it’s in the name of exercise. Exercise through osmosis — that counts, right?