As a parent of a two-year-old I am new enough to parenting to see the ridiculous side of some of the things I end up doing but not long enough at it to know just how mad it’s all going to get.
Here’s a list of some of the mildly ridiculous things new parents are likely to end up doing:
1. Inspecting your clothes to determine if someone has spat on them or spread food across them.
2. Baby wiping your clothes and deciding you are good to go.
3. Giving up inspecting your clothes for someone’s spit and food.
4. Looking at pictures of your darlings even though you’re only separated from them while they sleep.
5. Fashioning a hook from a coat hanger to retrieve toys, ornaments and rolls of toilet roll from the toilet.
6. Relishing a trip to the toilet when no one stares at you.
7. Raising someone’s bum to your face and sniff at least twice a day.
8. Try to suck snot from your newborn’s nose because you don’t have one of those pump things (8b. Decide never, ever to do that again).
9. Using your clothes as a nose wipe, a blanket and a towel to dry the slide all in the same day.
10. Going down a terrifying child’s slide because you don’t want your child to know you’re afraid of slides too.
Ann Marie is a writer, blogger and mum living in Cork City. She enjoys all things vintage, making a craft mess and finishing a cup of tea without anyone throwing a tantrum. You can read more from Ann Marie on her blog thriftyamos.com or follow her funny musings as a Mum on Twitter, @thriftyamos.
