Disclaimer: I love – LOVE – being a mum – but I will also be the first to admit there are days that are most definitively harder than others.
And on those very days, I rely rather frequently on little white lies to make it through. Not only the ones I dish out to the kids ("No, we can't go to Smyths today because the man at the counter is sick so the whole shop is closed"), but also on a whole set of lies I tell myself – just to give myself a little pep-talk and survive the parental trenches yet again.
Here are some of those:
1. "It's just a phase"
When toddler does his octopus thing whenever I try to dress him. Seriously, it's like he has gazillion arms and legs! Un-human!
2. "I'll clean that up later"
Sure, like FIVE DAYS later. At least.
3. "Nobody saw that"
When toddler licks a piece of fruit in Tesco and just throws it back in with the other fruits. Yikes.
4. “I know what I’m doing”
Nope, but I'm hoping this goes for ALL of us!
5. "It's probably not that bad"
Refusing to read the back of the packet of sweets my five-year-old just ate.
6. "He'll sleep in his own bed soon enough"
Like, when he is 19, maybe...
7. "This dinner will go down a treat"
They'll more than likely ask for a slice of toast instead.
8. Nobody saw me wearing this yesterday
When I cannot summon up the energy to root out a fresh outfit in the morning.
9. "It's educational"
No, it's not. It's just
Paw Patrol. Again.
10. "Really, showering every day is not good for your skin"
When I realise that I haven't showered since Sunday...
